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Main - The Officer's Club - I decided I will commit suicide
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Squiddy
Posted on 01-24-15 04:23 AM Link | ID: 81155
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There is nothing else for me to do. I will not be able to go to college because my grades are not good enough. I failed Physics last semester. I am tired of my parents annoying me. Nothing good will happen to me. Nothing. Life sucks and it will not get better.

So I am going to end my suffering by taking my own life. I will use my knife to cut my neck and my neck becomes full of blood. I was right. No one cares about me at all. This may considered "attention whoring" but oh well. I feel suicidal but no one cares anyway.

So good bye everyone. The woman known as SquidEmpress will kill herself. No one cares about me so no one cares if I commit suicide. Life sucks and it will not get better. Why do I have to be alive? So that I can suffer? You know, life is meaningless. There is no meaning in life. Life is terrible. Death takes away all your suffering. Life will not improve for me. I decided I will commit suicide.

;_;

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shibboleet
Posted on 01-24-15 04:25 AM Link | ID: 81156
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Life will never get better if you don't do anything. Stand up, make a change.

KP
Posted on 01-24-15 04:49 AM Link | ID: 81157
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We like you, but dammit, this isn't all about you, you know.

I have shit grades. I'm in a good job now, and I worked hard to get there. It's possible.

I failed a ton of classes. I never finished high school. I tell people I got a GED after three attempts, and they don't look down on me for it. If there's an aspect of you that people don't care about, trust me... it's academics. No employer has ever asked me about my grades. You have no excuse.

My stepfather beat the shit out of me in my mid-childhood.

How the hell do you suddenly have the crystal ball that tells you what the future has in store for you?

You're right, life isn't easy for most of us. You gotta deal with that instead of taking the easy way out. It might be easy for YOU, but as I said before, it isn't about you. There are people in your life, who, despite what you think, will NOT be happy if you off yourself. (Us, your parents, probably many others.)

I don't know where the fuck you get the idea that nobody cares about you despite us telling you that we do. Why would we lie about that? I'm kind of sick of talking to a wall, here.

Despite all of the shit I went through, I never thought about suicide beyond the philosophical aspects of it. Why? Because I like to think I'm not a selfish asshole who only thinks about oneself. Do you know how many lives you'd royally fuck up if you killed yourself? Granted, I am not you, and I might be wired differently than you and therefore might not suffer the same way from certain forms of depression, but I do have depression myself and you have to run shit through your mind as logically as possible when you have these kinds of thoughts. Get on a suicide line; you're not any less of a person for it.

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shibboleet
Posted on 01-24-15 05:19 AM Link | ID: 81158
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Posted by Squiddy
There is nothing else for me to do.

Actually, there's a lot more you could do, you're just reacting too quickly and making the wrong choices...worst choice is to end your life.


I will not be able to go to college because my grades are not good enough. I failed Physics last semester.

Then if you're failing, get tutoring, look up stuff online, study, study, study, study, study. You can't just join a hard class, sit through it and expect to do good in it. Don't do what I did in Chemistry the first marking period.


I am tired of my parents annoying me.

...what exactly do they do? Are you sure it's them trying to hurt you intentionally? You aren't giving details that can tell us what is really going on here.


Nothing good will happen to me. Nothing. Life sucks and it will not get better.

How do you know? Like KP said, nobody can 100% predict their future. You can't just slap a stamp on a letter saying 'this is what will happen for this person's future, and nothing can change it.'


So I am going to end my suffering by taking my own life. I will use my knife to cut my neck and my neck becomes full of blood.

Dial a suicidal services, they can do a lot more than we can. Posting on a social board isn't the best idea to say something like this, unless they literally know you and can drive there in less than an hour to actually do something rather than type text hoping you don't commit this kind of thing.


I was right. No one cares about me at all. This may considered "attention whoring" but oh well. I feel suicidal but no one cares anyway.

If nobody cared, well...why would I be posting here? Why would KP be posting here? Is it to waste our time because we're bored or something? No; it's to get you out of this phase and put you in a better spot in life, and keep you out of this one.

Now, listen. You aren't alone. Nobody is ever alone. Even though we can't do much but provide support, you are the person who can change you.

Don't make this kind of decision. Trust me.

ek_0
Posted on 01-24-15 01:33 PM Link | ID: 81159

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Hey Squiddy it's me Devon (Ek_0) you know the one with the identity crisis as you pointed out in the AMA ^_^,

Now I want you to listen to me I don't see what you're doing as attention whoring, I understand that things have gone to shit for you and you don't see things getting better, If I may presume you feel like you are in a dark place, well let me tell you that this is okay to feel like this and it will make the light in your future seem that much brighter.

Now I have not spoke to you that much honestly but you were one of the many people on this forum that I wanted to know more about and converse with. I care, I have never met you, I don't know anything about you and we don't speak much but I care about you. I care because you helped me way back when i was "Paranoid" and I want to help you get through this just like most people here will want to help.

So I want to offer you my full support just PM me and let me know if you want me to help and I will give you whatever means of contacting me you want. A lot of people are here for you Squiddy, A lot of people care.

skyl
Posted on 01-24-15 03:25 PM (rev. 2 of 01-24-15 03:26 PM by skyl) Link | ID: 81161
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If nobody cared, no one would be trying to stop you from doing this. Reading text probably won't help, but think about how it would affect other people in your life. Those other people would be affected because they care about you. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't have made this post.

Just calm down and wait, you'll probably feel better later.

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SapphireBlaze
Posted on 01-24-15 05:27 PM Link | ID: 81165

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I'm sorry, but I am fairly certain no good will come of me trying to console you here. I'm really bad at cheering people up from really serious situations. Just, please don't.

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KP
Posted on 01-24-15 06:37 PM Link | ID: 81166
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Posted by ek_0
Now I want you to listen to me I don't see what you're doing as attention whoring
I do. Let me explain something. Squiddy, if you think nobody gives a shit, why would you get online and make a thread on a message board to get everyone on here to join in on your little pity party? Because you want to be validated.

Generally, people who actually commit suicide don't involve anyone else in their plans. They actually don't give a shit, or can't live with or love themselves or their thoughts; the chemical imbalance becomes too great. On the flip side, people who are in their dark places and calling for help write stuff like this.

You already know you aren't going to do the things you said you'd do, and you already know people give a shit. You're tired of putting forth effort academically and you're tired of your parents' shit. Those last two? Fucking deal with it. Nobody else gets a pass from this either. The former two? Well, there are other ways to go about getting feedback on how to deal with your issues. Yes, the OC is a great place to go, but no, attention whoring isn't the way to do it.

When you wise up and are stable again, come in here and we'll talk about it.



StapleButter
Posted on 01-24-15 06:48 PM Link | ID: 81168
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Posted by Squiddy
No one cares about me at all.

If noone cared, they wouldn't be posting in this thread. And in turn, you'd know it and you wouldn't have posted this thread to begin with.

As for the rest, well, I'd mostly be saying the same as all the people who posted in this thread.

Long story short, life isn't easy. Shit happens. You have to stand up.

Easy success was a thing in elementary school for some of us, but past that, it's over. The bigger the things you want to do, the harder you have to work.

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ek_0
Posted on 01-24-15 08:00 PM Link | ID: 81170

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Hey I'm gonna throw my 2 cents in again and say, I want to be here for you with what you're going through because honestly I really have been worried about you since I posted in this thread, (Because that's when I found out about all this) And honestly you were one of the people I've always thought was so cool here and genuinely wanted to talk to more...

Look all I'm trying to say is I think you're awesome and I want to help/support/both of the previous, you until you are feeling better and then keep helping you beyond that ^_^

Gohan
Posted on 01-24-15 11:32 PM Link | ID: 81174


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I don't really have much to say. I've done this multiple times, and the people here have prevented it and helped me. I am lonely, day in and day out and it's not easy. I choose to live because I was born to live, and to throw it away so early and so disgraceful... It's just shaming the name of my family.

I side with KP9000 on this case, because I've been where you are multiple times, it's a hard phase but you'll get through it. Life was never meant to be easy. We all go through things differently, and that is what makes our lives our own, no one can take that away from us.

Please, calm down and think things through before you do anything rash. Suicide is never the answer.


sleepy
Posted on 01-24-15 11:57 PM Link | ID: 81175

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I 100% agree with KP. I'm not sure what made you decide that this is the best option, because it's not the best option. Suicide is never the answer. Think deep, and believe in yourself. I may not know you that well, but I'm pretty sure you've done some pretty amazing things.

I've been in your position before and trust me man, it's not worth it.

tl;dr: Don't do it, believe in yourself.

Danika
Posted on 01-25-15 12:56 AM Link | ID: 81177

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Trust me, I've been through rough situations in the past, and was suicidal, but never went through with it. Life is worth living, even when it throws its curveballs at you.


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StapleButter
Posted on 01-25-15 03:23 PM (rev. 2 of 01-25-15 03:27 PM by StapleButter) Link | ID: 81186
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I also think that cutting yourself would be awfully painful. Even if I were terribly depressed, I would never even consider trying it.

Not to mention that if you fail for whatever reason, you will end up having suffered for nothing. So much for the "death takes away all suffering" part.


In short, suicide is a large mistake.

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ek_0
Posted on 01-25-15 05:01 PM Link | ID: 81188

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Hey has anyone got a response from Squiddy because honestly I'm worried and it would make me a little less uneasy if I knew she contacted someone...

StapleButter
Posted on 01-25-15 05:08 PM Link | ID: 81191
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Haven't seen her around, nope. Neither do I know how to contact her besides the typical internet things (email, PM, etc).

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ek_0
Posted on 01-25-15 07:36 PM Link | ID: 81195

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who is worried about her obviously but we can't exactly do anything until she contacts someone...

Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-26-15 06:27 AM Link | ID: 81204
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Squiddy is alive. She's spewing insults at me over at Rydia's board. <_<


Squiddy
Posted on 01-26-15 11:25 AM Link | ID: 81206
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I still want to commit suicide but I can't get myself to do it. ;_;

Posted by Lili~ ♥
Squiddy is alive. She's spewing insults at me over at Rydia's board. <_<


I swear that was not me. I was doing that on Thursday afternoon. Today at 1:00AM, I was awake because I could not sleep due to depression.

Check the IP in the log, although they could be using a proxy. I'll tell you who I suspect of framing me in PM.

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Epele
Posted on 01-26-15 11:34 AM Link | ID: 81207
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Posted by Squiddy
I still want to commit suicide but I can't get myself to do it. ;_;
This says you've got a really low mood, looking for an easy way out. Either try a change of lifestyle, trying to ride through it or go for some therapy.


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