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What I find is you need to find the right social circles that you fit into and can meet people you're compatible with, and high school isn't that for everyone. The most important thing is not to beat yourself up over it, try to expand your social circles if you can, and if you can't, try not to let it impact your self-worth.

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are you only interested in being friends with this girl because you hope to date her? Because that isn't cool

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I'd also recommend checking out okcupid or other online dating sites even now; not to guarantee anything of course (I'm well aware of the online dating gender ratio) but many people these days are open to long-distance relationships, and if nothing else it'd give you more practice talking to people of the opposite sex.

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That's pretty rough... I think it's important to remember that you're in high school, most high school relationships never lead to anything, and the whole point of having relationships is because you find them enjoyable; they're not something you should feel terrible about not having.

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you need to stop giving in to peer pressure. I mean, it's normal to want a girlfriend, but you don't need a girlfriend just because other people have one.

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oh come on, they're the ones being inconsiderate.

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this is just my opinion but you should stop feeling bad about your personality. you seem sharp and just fine to me.

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'improving your social skills' is not an easy task, but there's more ways than one to go about this. you chose to get advice online, which is good. we can give you support and advice over the course of your life. as long as you keep us updated, we can help you out.

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1. the whole flirt-over-a-long-distance thing only works when you have an actual connection with the person.. otherwise it feels empty.

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2. well of course that would feel gross. the circumstances were bad and you weren't into the guy at all, or into any guys for that matter. I'm pretty sure you were having a bad time due to stress, and not anywhere near mentally ready for this.

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moving won't solve things because you can't force a change and the damage was done; you were desperate. to the new people you met, you probably somewhat imposed yourself on them, and that's not how you start a relationship. moving won't solve things because you can't force a change and the damage was done; you were desperate. to the new people you met, you probably somewhat imposed yourself on them, and that's not how you start a relationship.

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before aiming for romantic love, you should try to aim for a stable environment. having friends who understand you and have your back can relieve your stress and have a nice time with you.
I get the feel you need to take some time to relax a bit, if things have been moving too fast for you lately.

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now, if you truly like that girl then you need to try to get to know her gradually. if she's not the type to talk a lot, she probably gets to know people slowly.. can't just assume her personality, though. I suggest you go for it.

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well you can't. and also, it is stuff that matters.

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to be honest it feels like you're going about love the wrong way; blame peer pressure and the bullshit "need for a girlfriend" for that.
now, you probably want a soulmate yourself because of the loneliness and that's understandable, but it's definitely society that started your problem.

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to sum it up, you need to stand for yourself and stop falling for peer pressure telling you how to live your life.. though it's probably too late if you, yourself, feel the need for a soulmate.

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either way, you'll have to go at it slow so you shouldn't worry as much. love doesn't just stop being a thing at some point in life, so rushing is pointless. you're not the only person in the world without a partner, be it because they're unable to get one or because they're uninterested.

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This is one of the key cases where I think high school distorts your perceptions... there are lots of nerds, anime fans, etc. out there, but it's hard to find opportunities to meet them in real life until you have a bit more freedom.

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I think, a good relationship is indeed something you can't take for granted, it's so rare to have that sort of real connection with someone, that you can really say you're willing to spend your life with them.

But many, maybe even most relationships aren't that! They're people who aren't really compatible, who are just doing it for social status, because they want to have sex, out of desperation to not be single, or whatever other reason. They have their ups, but they also have their downs, and often when they end it makes everyone involved miserable.

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it's much better to be single than in a bad relationship.

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Want to know a secret about high school? It's all one big illusion.

Experts in human development note that a social need to belong, find your identity, and "fit in" are especially strong during this period of life. This is why you'll see things like showing off one's dating life, why it seems like so many people are doing better than you, or when you hear things like "relationships aren't that great". It's because (despite how it may seem sometimes), they're all still trying to figure things about themselves, others, and the world. Some just to a better job at masking that confusion than others.

Put another way: There's a reason high school romances don't last. Everyone involved is very much a work in progress.

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I've never heard this expression before. What exactly do you mean by this?

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I didn't get my first kiss until I was 20. I have no problem admitting that because of life secret #2: There is no normal rate for this kind of thing, it only seems that way because of the bizzaroland that is high school.

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Besides, it seems like you already learned that desperation is the enemy. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them like the human that you are, and you'll be just fine.

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Like you, I also went to a relatively small school in a small town, so everyone knew each other and there wasn't a lot of dating within my class. When I left for college, my social life changed dramatically. Sure, I wasn't getting laid like crazy or anything like that, but I did end up going on more dates (AKA any dates at all) and learning more about myself, women, and what I really want (and what I don't want).

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Sure, dating sites are always an option, but you may be surprised what you find when you take a chance and put yourself out there.

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While it does suck to risk getting rejected, it definitely helps when you go in ready to look at yourself and others with a healthy and realistic lens. For what it's worth, it sounds like you're seriously working on doing just that.

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