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Main - Posts by Decoy Blimp

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Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-05-18 02:14 AM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133427
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Level: 44


Posts: 341/524
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
No clue

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-05-18 03:09 AM, in Non-existant love life + Garbage social skills = (◞‸◟;) . [UPDATED 6/4/18] Link | ID: 133428
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Okay, so I thought I might as well give an update here as I've had another romantic mishap that's resulted in things being really sour.

So since my last post in this thread, I've gained a lot of confidence in myself; I've worked through a lot of my personal turmoil, gained a lot of friends, and in general I just feel much more comfortable being myself. Something unexpected happened that was a big mistake on my part and kind of fucked up a few things, though I haven't undone any of the progress I've made to better myself, which is good.

It all started about two weeks ago. I had just given a speech in front of my entire school (which isn't as daunting as it might sound since the school is rather small, albeit it still wasn't easy) talking about my experience moving across the country, dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide and how thankful I am to the school community for helping me through it, all the while cracking a ton of great jokes that kept people entertained but not distracted from the topics at hand. People loved it and I got a standing ovation, it was probably one of the most badass things I've ever done. That was kind of a turning point in terms of me being confident in myself and it really started to show when a girl I didn't know super well essentially confessed her feelings for me a few days later.

I initially told her no because I had heard from a lot of people that she's very insecure and shuts people out when they try to compliment her, but my thought process at the time was "Well hey, maybe it'll be better this time. I'll never know until I try." So I just kinda dived into being a thing with this person not really thinking about it. It only lasted about four days since it didn't take me long to realize that it wasn't gonna work out. She's much worse than I had initially thought she was in terms of insecurities and such and I felt it best to air to the side of caution and end the romantic aspect. I feel bad for hurting her feelings, but I'm not beating myself up over it because I knew going in that there would probably be a few road bumps and that I would inevitably make mistakes.

We started talking a bit less since it was a bit awkward and I became busy looking for a summer job and volunteer work since school had gotten out for me by then. I texted her just this evening to say hi and the conversation got dark quickly.

Me: Heya
Her: Well hello my favorite person
Me: That's quite the title
Her: Yeah I was being sarcastic because you broke my heart
Her: Ha
Her: Fuck
Her: Dude its just a joke

And from there it only got worse as you could probably imagine.

So from what I can surmise from this situation, I need to not enter relationships without thinking or with people who are insecure because then this shit happens. I genuinely feel bad because I know I goofed up and nothing I try to tell her to try and get her to feel better helps because she just keeps shutting me down, but at the same time I'm just tired of trying. She just will not listen and its not my responsibility to try and help her. I'm probably more zen about this situation than I should be but I'm not really all that worried about this. Is that bad?

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-05-18 09:37 PM, in your dreams Link | ID: 133479
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
The other night I had a dream that I was having a panic attack and I stole a shotgun from a dorm parent to protect myself for... some reason. I later realized I had made a horrible mistake and that I risked getting kicked out. I was in English class later except we were in the performing arts building making visual art for some unknown reason. The gun was leaning against the wall near the stairwell, and when the dorm parent walks past me and sees the gun he looks confused but keeps walking. I later decided to admit to the dorm parent that I had stole the gun, so I run downstairs, down the hall, and into the workshop in the back which is where the dorm parent was for some reason, and I just exclaimed "I STOLE THE GUN OKAY?!" He started getting really angry and I was exasperated and trying to explain that I was having a panic attack but at one point or another I woke up.

The funniest part is that the dorm parent in my dream is actually my history teacher and the former dean of students.

Last night I had a REALLY weird dream. There were so many details that I don't feel like writing down, but the dream was essentially me going through two high school graduation ceremonies in succession, but minus the rewarding of the diplomas. The first time it took place in my school's chapel in the balcony where the freshman sit and while the guest speaker was being boring af I was looking at the view out the window that doesn't exist in real life, which is really all that happened during that part of the dream. The second time was on the stage at my old school where I graduated 8th grade. All I remember from that part was having my named called, simply walking from one side of the stage to the other as people applauded and being handed a cigarette by a graduate from my current school halfway through the walk. At the end I remember thinking to myself that senior year went by extremely fast, then I woke up and realized "Shit senior year hasn't even started yet."

Yeah my dreams are weird.

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-05-18 09:43 PM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133480
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Level: 44


Posts: 344/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Danika: Perhaps
Epele: Polar Bears

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-05-18 10:22 PM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133484
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Level: 44


Posts: 345/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Haven't watched either

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-05-18 11:24 PM, in June KCS Rankings (6/30 - Please refrain from eating Epele, Trapster. ^_~) (rev. 2 of 06-05-18 11:24 PM by Decoy Blimp) Link | ID: 133486
Normal User

Level: 44


Posts: 346/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Heh, exams at my school have been over for almost a week :P

Also, my one year anniversary on Kafuka is coming up <_<

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-05-18 11:59 PM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133489
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Level: 44


Posts: 347/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Cardi B I guess

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 09:52 PM, in Regarding the situation Link | ID: 133844
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Posts: 349/524
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Posted by Moonlight Capital
Not having Jamie around makes me sad/bored/lazy.


That doesn't sound manipulative at all <_<

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 09:54 PM, in Say something about the above user! Link | ID: 133845
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Posts: 350/524
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Above user loves Cardi

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 09:55 PM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133846
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Posts: 351/524
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Robbie Rage: No idea, most store pudding is hella gross to me
Danika: None of those sound like cities I would enjoy. I'll stay near Boston thank you

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 10:15 PM, in June KCS Rankings (6/30 - Please refrain from eating Epele, Trapster. ^_~) Link | ID: 133850
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Level: 44


Posts: 352/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
So Danika if you're from Albany New York, confirm something for me: Is "Steamed Hams" a regional dialect in that area?

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 10:24 PM, in June KCS Rankings (6/30 - Please refrain from eating Epele, Trapster. ^_~) Link | ID: 133852
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Level: 44


Posts: 353/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
*Aurora Borealis Intensifies*

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 10:26 PM, in Stay warm this winter with an Intel gaming PC. Stay cool in summer with AMD. Link | ID: 133855
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Posts: 354/524
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate Ouran High School Host Club?

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 10:29 PM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133857
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Posts: 355/524
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
I don't listen to much country so I can't speak for the second one, but it's most likely the first one. That's the reason I stay away from most country, as well as other genres that largely sound the same (Trance, Hardstyle, etc)

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 11:25 PM, in Atomic(Astro) Collider Link | ID: 133861
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Posts: 356/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Waifu?

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 11:39 PM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133864
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Posts: 357/524
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Don't know either

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 11:47 PM, in Atomic(Astro) Collider Link | ID: 133866
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Posts: 358/524
EXP: 595773
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Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Bees?

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-16-18 11:52 PM, in Ask me things lol (rev. 2 of 06-16-18 11:53 PM by Decoy Blimp) Link | ID: 133874
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Level: 44


Posts: 359/524
EXP: 595773
Next: 15512

Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Atomic Astro:

deadmau5 - while(1<2) Review (Discovered him through this video)
Macintosh Plus - Floral Shoppe Review
Cringing with Whiteboy
LET'S AGREE: Music is Nice!

Danika: Weed.

Decoy Blimp
Posted on 06-17-18 12:10 AM, in Ask me things lol Link | ID: 133879
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Level: 44


Posts: 360/524
EXP: 595773
Next: 15512

Since: 06-26-17
From: Maryland

Last post: 280 days
Last view: 2 days
Melatonin
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Main - Posts by Decoy Blimp


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