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Main - Posts by Decoy Blimp |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 41/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
I haven't been here very long, but the community here was very welcoming from the start, so at this point I feel comfortable being open about my life and what's been going on lately.
Here goes. The past 9 months have been a nightmare. In during that time I've fallen out with people and been an asshat countless times, and I hate the person I've been. Frankly, the person I've been these past months is someone I don't like, recognize, or want to be, yet for some reason I continue to make the same mistakes time and time again. I'll start with my online interactions. I used to be a member of the SMWCentral community, but I've been banned from there TWICE now. Why? Because I became overly attached to the board over the years (I joined in 2013) and somehow I turned into an overly dramatic flamey immature piece of shit and grew to hate the board I loved for so many years. This applies to both my bans, the first being in late October and the second being in early May. At this point an unban is out of the question. Never gonna happen. Even after my ban I still managed to be a pest by being a cunt to people over Discord and reregging multiple times. I'm really ashamed of myself for it and I wish I could undo everything and start over, but alas, I can't. Now for the real life stuff. Depression episodes began to kick in for me in October and they lasted until about May. It fucked up my school work and my social life, as I began to be cold towards people. That being said though, the school I've been going to for the last two years has been a terrible fit for me and I felt haunted in a way by certain people there (namely my ex girlfriend. Will touch on her more in a moment). Academically the school is bad for me. I live in Portland Oregon, so its basically a hipster city, and the school I was going to was no different. It didn't have a letter grade system and most of the teachers weren't good at their jobs at all. What's crazy is that the actual workload was pretty small compared to most schools, yet I struggled to get things done. Partially that was my ADD getting in the way, coupled with my parents not letting me take meds for it out of fear of me developing a physical dependency. Not only that, but the drama fucked things up even more, especially when it came to my ex. In December I was having a super shitty week and I felt as though she didn't care about me anymore so I got on her case about it. She showed no sign that she cared, so I gave her the finger and moved on... for about five months. We became friends again later on, but then something happened and all of a sudden she started treating me like shit. Here's the kicker: I'm moving to the east coast in August. I get to press the reset button on my life, and I'm so excited! But when it came to my ex? All of a sudden she "doesn't care" that I'm moving away and will likely never see her again. Finally I got so sick of her shit that I blocked her number. I haven't spoken to her since and I don't have the slightest urge to reverse my decision. Now, to any moderators reading this, don't worry. I don't plan on being dramatic here. I want to be a better person from here on out, and I plan on sticking to that. There's a lot of things I haven't talked about but I'm doing all of this on my phone so I'll fill in more details later. Let me know what you think of this and if you have any tips on self improvement I'd love to hear them. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 42/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
SwingBall:
1. Yes. 2. Haven't played any. Needle: Yes Baseball questions: Again, wouldn't know. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 43/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Questions about my past and deep personal questions. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 44/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
That would be pretty cool, actually |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 45/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Tomato and Mozzarella with basil on toasted Baguette bread. But you have to buy one in Europe (I ate one in Germany) for it to be TRULY magical. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 46/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
You say that, but I think one of my issues is that I recognize where I screw up a little too much. Then again, you were never on the recieving end of my tantrums so there's that. Thank you though.
The depressive episodes are long gone, and I will be taking a new form of medication when I start school again.
I've been regularly seeing a therapist/psychiatrist since 2014. Therapy has helped me tremendously and I would be in a much worse place now had I not taken it. Problem is that the highschool I went to for the past two years didn't have a counselor or anything. The only "counselor" was my advisor who offered to let me vent about my problems to her, but I rarely ever did that because she was busy all the time.
Thanks! I'll be moving either Massachusettes or Rhode Island though. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 47/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
To a degree, yes, but mainly its because I always admit when I made a mistake so its only commendable the first few times. After that it just becomes annoying as hell.
Indeed. Don't worry, there's like a 1% chance I'll lash out at anyone here.
Yeah, that is helpful.
I definitely want to visit Boston, but having lived in a big (ish) city my entire life I've grown to hate living in a city. Maybe Portland just sucks more than everyone else, I dunno. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 48/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
^ Fuck no!
< Thinks the "Got Wood?" theme looks good v Hates most of the themes except for the defaults. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 49/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
deadmau5 - Suckfest9001
I'll never get enough of Joel's masterpieces. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 50/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Posted by Dani ★ I'll be 17 in November so if I'm old enough to be your son that would be kinda freaky. Getting pregnant at 16 pretty much screws up your entire life. Also unrelated but how do you get a title? |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 51/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
100 probably. I have 50 right now and I don't have a title yet.
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Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 52/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Robbie Rage: I don't know, actually. I used inspect element on someone's layout from SMWCentral awhile to get the side image and the image was named "shirayukiisawesome." I thought the girl used for the side image was cute so I googled Shirayuki and got some other character entirely. The avatar I'm using now was the pic of said character I liked the most.
Needle: I haven't because I don't have a Wii U or Switch, but when I get either console Splatoon is one of the first games I'll check out. Dani: Never cared about Ice Hockey, but when I was on my school's Basketball team in 3rd grade we only won one of of eight games, and that one win was a forfeit. To this day I still have a distaste for basketball, so yeah I'll go with Ice Hockey. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 54/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is up there with the best for me. I really need to rewatch the series. For the first two episodes you think its just a quirky slice of life but then it gets DEEP. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 55/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Banned for postcount inflation. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 56/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
What sparked your love for boobies? |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 57/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Are you gonna answer the above question by saying "No?" |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 58/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Posted by Swingball No but I've heard of it. I don't feel like exploring my sexuality right now though so I'll watch it some other time. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 59/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
Posted by Swingball No I just like the color pink. |
Decoy Blimp |
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Normal User
Level: 44 Posts: 60/524 EXP: 598440 Next: 12845 Since: 06-26-17 From: Maryland Last post: 303 days Last view: 24 days |
^ Nope. 2000
< Posts too much v Is Needle Edit: Ninja'd by Guess who? |
Main - Posts by Decoy Blimp |
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