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Main - Posts by Lili~ ♥

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Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-27-15 10:30 PM, in January KCS Rankings (1/31 - I can't believe the computer actually works...) Link | ID: 81275
Normal User
Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7341/8412
EXP: 51554187
Next: 256570

Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days

Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-28-15 04:09 PM, in What's on your mind? Link | ID: 81296
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7342/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days
I weighed myself. I got fatter again.

Looks like it's never going to stop...


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-29-15 02:05 AM, in January KCS Rankings (1/31 - I can't believe the computer actually works...) Link | ID: 81339
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7343/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days
My mind is a vast space of emptiness.

...honestly, sometimes I don't even know who I am.


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-29-15 10:38 AM, in Happy birthday Danika! Link | ID: 81343
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7344/8412
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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Why is everyone always too early with things?

Happy birthday, Dani! *hugs*
I'd give you a cake but you'd just let me eat it because I need it more. X-3


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-29-15 10:06 PM, in January KCS Rankings (1/31 - I can't believe the computer actually works...) Link | ID: 81361
Normal User
Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7345/8412
EXP: 51554187
Next: 256570

Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days

Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-29-15 11:33 PM, in please don't post here, having such a huge backlog of questions scares me Link | ID: 81364
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7346/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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Posted by ゼンガー・ゾンボルト
Have you got help with assembling your computer yet?

I still haven't.

I bet it will stay unassembled for months. <_<

Posted by Dani
Doing anything for your birthday yet? :P

I really haven't thought about planning three months in advance, I mean, I have enough issues surviving the next few days...

Posted by Squiddy
So, I am generally as warm and gentle as a blanket made of kittens? I thought that I could be pretty mean because I have BPD. :P

You're only mean when your mind decides to hate me for no reason. It happens. You'll learn to control your emotions with time.


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-30-15 10:02 PM, in January KCS Rankings (1/31 - I can't believe the computer actually works...) Link | ID: 81393
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7347/8412
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-30-15 10:20 PM, in I might be borderline Link | ID: 81395
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Since: 01-06-12

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I don't know what I should say, and it's kinda hard to explain this, but...

I've always behaved a bit irrationally. I was overly clingy whenever I made friends (which was rare by itself) and I would basically follow them and watch their every step. And if at a certain minute of time they didn't interact with me but decided to hang out with other people, I started to feel abandoned and hate them.

I'm also so sensitive and it's extremely easy to "break" me, or so to say. If you do or say something, I'm highly likely to interpret it in a way that makes me feel offended, so I get all angry. Usually, I'll go cry for a while and then explain how I understood it and everything resolves itself.

I'm amazed Gywall has managed to deal with me for such a long time since I've exploded at her more than a few times. It was really hard at first to deal with being alone, because I felt abandoned every time. I'm learning to cope a bit better with it, but, you know, you never truly get rid of it.

Now, I'm suffering from violent mood swings that make me either exceptionally happy or clinically depressed, simply by certain minor actions that seem to hit me hard. I know Gywall likes to make jokes about it but I'm actually suffering from it and there are days where I feel awful and just want to die. (Yesterday was one such day, if the KCS title was of any indication. Yes, I suffer from self-hate as well in such situations.)

I only realized I might be borderline after I met another person on the Internet who is, because we share so many of the symptoms. And that made me think about it. My symptoms seem to be getting worse and I do think I really need treatment because I don't think I'll be able to deal with it by myself. I couldn't finish school because I started crying during class and randomly hating people for reasons they could never understand. If I were to get a job, either I'd quit after getting offended by someone (well, "offended"), or I'd start hating everyone and get fired.

Sigh, I really need a good therapist to work with me, but it's so haaaard... :<


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-31-15 12:11 AM, in January KCS Rankings (1/31 - I can't believe the computer actually works...) Link | ID: 81408
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7349/8412
EXP: 51554187
Next: 256570

Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days
Posted by ゼンガー・ゾンボルト
OC?

Officer's Club. :P

I wish I had made it to university. But I'm a dropout, so...


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-31-15 05:35 PM, in What's on your mind? Link | ID: 81417
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7350/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days
I'm now on Windows 7.

This will certainly take some getting used to...


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-31-15 06:49 PM, in please don't post here, having such a huge backlog of questions scares me Link | ID: 81418
Normal User
Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7351/8412
EXP: 51554187
Next: 256570

Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days
Posted by sleepy
What do you think of Autism?

You're asking the right one. I've been diagnosed with it.

I've more or less accepted I'll never get a job and I should just apply for disability. On the other hand, it gives me access to some cool friends who are otherwise lonely and perceived as "awkward" by society, even though they definitely aren't.

Posted by Dani
If your shrink prescribed you Cymbalta, would you take it or ask for something else?

I'd honestly be scared because I haven't heard many good things about it. But I guess there's no way to know until you try...


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 01-31-15 10:43 PM, in January KCS Rankings (1/31 - I can't believe the computer actually works...) Link | ID: 81421
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7352/8412
EXP: 51554187
Next: 256570

Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days

Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-01-15 10:56 PM, in February KCS Rankings (2/28 - Saturdays are always so boring...) Link | ID: 81459
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7353/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-02-15 01:15 AM, in What'd you eat? Link | ID: 81464
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7354/8412
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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Home-made marmalade.

It's really great... it tastes so well unlike the stuff from the supermarket...


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-02-15 12:31 PM, in What's on your mind? Link | ID: 81471
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7355/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days
I sleep so much better when it's silent in the room. It was really a good idea to decide to turn off my computer at night.


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-02-15 10:39 PM, in February KCS Rankings (2/28 - Saturdays are always so boring...) Link | ID: 81474
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7356/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-03-15 11:13 PM, in February KCS Rankings (2/28 - Saturdays are always so boring...) Link | ID: 81484
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Posts: 7357/8412
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Since: 01-06-12

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Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-04-15 03:39 PM, in What's on your mind? Link | ID: 81500
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Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7358/8412
EXP: 51554187
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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I almost collapsed today because I had no time to eat. I've actually been told I looked really pale and awful.

Sugar deprivation is not fun.


Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-04-15 10:52 PM, in February KCS Rankings (2/28 - Saturdays are always so boring...) Link | ID: 81512
Normal User
Queen Lesbian of Kafuka
Level: 159


Posts: 7359/8412
EXP: 51554187
Next: 256570

Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
Last view: 1248 days

Lili~ ♥
Posted on 02-04-15 11:04 PM, in February KCS Rankings (2/28 - Saturdays are always so boring...) Link | ID: 81517
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Level: 159


Posts: 7360/8412
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Since: 01-06-12

Last post: 2725 days
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Posted by Nicole
Clearly you've been talking to Epele more often, acquiring Britishisms like that :P

I never even noticed that. I guess she's really influencing me.

I guess it's only a matter of time before I start talking about colours and crisps. >_>

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Main - Posts by Lili~ ♥


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