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Main - The Officer's Club - Shit I have to let out. Opinions welcome.
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StapleButter
Posted on 09-20-16 10:52 PM (rev. 2 of 09-22-16 12:10 PM by StapleButter) Link | ID: 92739
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Since: 01-05-12
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I'd also like some opinions on the matter.


The shit happened on Sep 02.

Neighbours B and M ask me for help to move their shit to their car, they're moving out. I help them, thinking it'd only take a while (I had dishes dipping in the sink). Shit is fine. We socialize a bit during it.

Once it's done, we talk about things, and mention the idea of a random party. I have leftover vodka and apple juice, so it happens. I share the vodka with M, B doesn't want alcohol.

The party feels... wrong. It's not the typical party dynamic where you're sharing fun with everyone else. It's more like I unwillingly become the object of the party, I'm the one who will hopefully provide the fun.

I play the game, don't want to be the uncool stuck-up dork.

They want to check out my place. Fair game. I let them in.

This is where my feeling worsens. They basically squat the place, blaring their music on my speakers, making noise with their djembe thing (and then I'm supposed to be the one making sure the neighbours don't complain), making videos that are pretty much in the "look we're extracting fun out of him" style. Nothing mean, but it's still in that spirit.

The party eventually cools down. They squat my bed and refuse to leave, thinking I'd just sleep on the floor. Haha, no.

I go to the sink to look at the dishes that are still dipping. M somehow thinks I was going to stage a murder. I try to reassure him that it wasn't the case, but no, it escalates, in "drunk argument" style.

I'm afraid I might have to fight him. I always perceive myself as de facto weaker than everybody else. (I have no muscle, never did combat sports, and mom's "don't fight, you are a weak shit" conditioning didn't help either).

Anyway, I'm this close to calling the cops.

M gets up from the bed, roots through the sink, grabs a fork and acts like he was going to threaten me with him. Nothing serious, but it's still something I don't want to have to deal with.

During all that, B mostly just watched or did shit on his phone.

Then M and B leave. I suspect they grabbed 3€ from the desk while doing so, but dunno.

I'm still in my drunk 'be cool and nice' mood. The tension earlier is resolved. I go to bed.

--------------

The fail party left me with a negative feeling. At some point during it, the idea of another party "the next week" was mentioned, but I figured it'd be nothing serious as we didn't exchange coordinates or anything.

I didn't want to deal with them again anyway.

So it's all good, right?

--------------

'Next week'. They don't show up. All is good.

--------------

Sep 19. They show up at random near 22:30, with pizza and dunno what else.

It's been more than two weeks.

No mean intentions. But dunno. Were they planning on sleeping in my bed? Would I end up with squatters who refuse to leave and escalate shit again?

So I slammed the door in their face and locked myself in. They got the message and left.

But part of me isn't happy with this reaction.

I avoided any arguments, but I reacted like a total dork.

Maybe they didn't understand why they got rejected.

I shat on potential good intentions, and I don't like that.

I could have talked to them. But I didn't want to face persistence and get into an argument. And I wasn't in the mood for a party or whatever shit anyway, job search induced depression.

And their manners are, uh, bad. You don't randomly barge in people's places.


So, dunno. Opinions on this? Was I a dick? Did I act right?

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ゼンガー・ゾンボルト
Posted on 09-20-16 11:00 PM Link | ID: 92740

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I supposed you could have let them in and had that pizza (as it was obviously their way of saying they're sorry, I think) but you did what you thought was right. That's fine.

If/when you see them again, maybe you can explain why you slammed that door in their faces.

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StapleButter
Posted on 09-20-16 11:05 PM Link | ID: 92741
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Since: 01-05-12
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Thing is, I had already eaten dinner, so I couldn't have had pizza anyway.


No way to truly know until I meet them again, I guess. Not very likely...

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KP
Posted on 09-22-16 01:34 PM Link | ID: 92766
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Maybe you were a dick to them. You probably were.

But here's the kicker: They were in your place. You have the right to do whatever the fuck you want. They are in your domain. And you're right to be concerned over noise complaints, too. It's your fuckin' house, man!

The party and the recording itself could have been an attempt at something which wasn't meant to "extract the fun out of [you]", but simply meant to just record the party.

I understand you want to maintain good relations with these people, provided they keep their shit together. But the moment that they decide to start drinking (which they fucking KNOW is going to impair their judgment) is the point where they went wrong. They're shitty drunks, AND they have zero regard for you; hence, they made the decision to drink.

Granted, they just want to have fun. But they can't go inciting shit because they don't know what the fuck is going on because they drank themselves under the table.

If they want to come to you and talk about it, cool. I'd be a bit cautious about another party unless it's somewhere other than your place though. They just gotta know that the can't disrespect you like that.



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