Moved this to a more suitable forum, as I really don't think the General Forum is the best place for it.

For your position, I'm understand it from a different point of view. But there's common ground.

For your voice, I'd recommend you practice getting your voice to be where you want it. Once you can grasp a more feminine voice, and can upkeep it comfortably, that's when you might want to adventure into practising English.

I understand the not-comfortable thing. I'm the same, but I've been getting a grip on my own vocal training lately.

It probably would make you more comfortable to speak with someone who's not going to poke fun at you for everything you say. Consider voice chat with either the transgender members of this board, or those who support them well. We're the best people to practice with.

I'm a native speaker of English. My speaking isn't perfect, and I won't make fun of anyone else. I know plenty of people who don't, or didn't, have English as their first language - in fact, one of my best friends had Urdu as their first language for a long time. I used to help him out, and he's way more socially skilled than I am now.

Also, it might be worth remembering this. Sometimes people are more comfortable talking face-to-face than over voice communication methods.. Maybe you could even find someone to practice with face-to-face?