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11-21-24 08:58 AM
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Main - The Officer's Club - Need somewhere to belong. Not here in particular. Just.. somewhere.
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Thierry
Posted on 10-26-21 02:00 AM Link | ID: 165864
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Since: 03-19-13

Last post: 1 day
Last view: 1 day 		Hey.

Is this place still alive?



I've been reading this recent thread on jul and I have very mixed feelings about it. In a way, I was there. More or less. I lurked around Acmlmboards back in the day, once when I was a kid and once again when I discovered Kafuka. Yet reading this I can't help but feel a massive rush of "missed out on a golden era".

But what really got me was this:
Posted by Xkeeper
whether you fit in or not is always up to you, but the one thing i feel about that matter is that i don't want this place to actively push someone away or make people uncomfortable. if someone doesn't feel like they fit, that's fine and expected; some people and places are just incompatible.

Some place and some people. That's the norm.
What troubles me is that I don't fit anywhere. I never have. And I don't know what to do at this point, besides ranting.


From the beginning of my life up til now, I've been separated from everybody. Sheltered, isolated, clueless and awkward. I lack the "common sense" others have, as well as any kind of sense that's relevant in a social setting. I've missed out on years of social practice I should've experienced.

Both IRL and online, I'm an outsider to every circle I've delved in. It's like outsider syndrome, except more concrete, proven through experience to not be a delusion on my part.
What everybody else has shared, I have missed out on. What little I have been part of, I have screwed up. Notably, I've screwed my chances with various people in various ways.


I'm tired of this. I'm tired of always playing charades, always putting a facade towards people in fear of annoying them. Tired of being unable to communicate normally.
I'm tired of belonging to nowhere, to noone, to nothing. Tired of amounting to nothing, tired of knowing nothing, tired of being unable to do anything. Tired of BEING nothing.

That's it for the rant. Long story short, I don't know what to do. I don't know what others actually see me as. All I've been doing is covering the core problem with a facade of "everything is fine, things will pan out over time". I've failed enough as it is, it's high time I address the issue.


So, here I am again. Whether you have any advice to give, please tell me this. In your own words. What am I to you?
Does anything I did bear any meaning? 　..and just, what should I do?

Epele
Posted on 10-26-21 11:55 AM Link | ID: 165865
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The Sorceress.
Boing~

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Since: 01-01-12
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I still lurk around these days. Mostly moved towards some Discord communities these days.

But as to finding a place, I honest would say finding the right place can be down to luck. Communities change, and people move to new places. It's a cycle of sorts.

But don't be dejected if you don't find a place immediately. It can take years to find the right place, and from my experience - the place you expect the least.


The world could always use more heroes!

Bill Cipher fan
Posted on 10-26-21 11:22 PM Link | ID: 165872
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Kaptain K. Rool is COOL!
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I love you! you are precious, all life is precious, nor can any be replaced.
Do you like trivia? then here is something for you, https://www.funtrivia.com/forums/

____________________
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saltypepper
Posted on 11-07-21 12:11 AM Link | ID: 165980
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are you okay...? BUSTER WOLF
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I don't know if you're active, or if you even want to associate with me due to everything that happened last year, but...

I often found myself going into big servers on Discord a lot. Just talking about a common interest and just being all like "wow we sure like this a lot". Eventually that led to me getting a friend group, and I'm still with them today.

You don't have to do it exactly as I did. As far as I know, I'm not sure if you're even on Discord due to... things. But just going into places and just talking to people seems to really help me, especially online. Because hey, if they don't like you, that's one place out of like... billions.

As always, you can DM me on anywhere like Discord or even here if needed. Just know that if you really want me at my earliest, I'd probably be on Discord.

my armor's made of leather i hate saltypepper

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Robbie Rage
Posted on 11-17-21 12:35 AM Link | ID: 166165
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Since: 11-22-16
From: New Jersey, USA
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Posted by Thierry
In your own words. What am I to you?


You are a user I remember from an old web forum that was one of my favorite places on the internet that I still have a great amount of nostalgia for today.

Yeah, I remember you. I also remember how crazy and chaotic those boards were, and how it seemed like there were all these preestablished cliques of people, so that it could easily seem like you're on the outside looking in.

Posted by Thierry
what should I do?


The solution is simple: Be true to yourself. No charades, no facades, no believing the lie that you don't belong anywhere.

Yes, there is a chance people won't like you or find you annoying. However, this is why this works. If some people don't like you, you will at least know that you were being your true self that has opportunities to get a little better every day. If they do like you, well, those could be the kind of people that stick around.

Don't give up.

Rambly
Posted on 11-27-21 06:59 PM Link | ID: 166278
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Posted by Thierry
So, here I am again. Whether you have any advice to give, please tell me this. In your own words. What am I to you?
Does anything I did bear any meaning? 　..and just, what should I do?
i don't know if this means anything to you or if you'll see it, but i actually do remember you quite a bit as someone who shared cute stockings (the character) with me and you always seemed really kind-hearted and thoughtful from our (admittedly few) conversations together.

i don't have any good advice but robbie rage's is really good. being yourself is the best way to make genuine connections with people. it's a lot harder to find people that are like-minded to you if you're not being open about who you are, and you'll probably find that anyone who's annoyed by it probably wasn't gonna make a very good friend, anyway

Hiryuu
Posted on 03-06-22 10:55 PM (rev. 2 of 03-06-22 11:03 PM by Hiryuu) Link | ID: 167544
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Since: 07-15-12
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Posted by Thierry
...I've been reading this recent thread on jul and I have very mixed feelings about it. In a way, I was there. More or less. I lurked around Acmlmboards back in the day, once when I was a kid and once again when I discovered Kafuka. Yet reading this I can't help but feel a massive rush of "missed out on a golden era".

But what really got me was this:
Posted by Xkeeper
whether you fit in or not is always up to you, but the one thing i feel about that matter is that i don't want this place to actively push someone away or make people uncomfortable. if someone doesn't feel like they fit, that's fine and expected; some people and places are just incompatible.

Some place and some people. That's the norm.
What troubles me is that I don't fit anywhere. I never have. And I don't know what to do at this point, besides ranting...


I'm gonna be real honest with you - you didn't miss shit. All it stemmed down to was a place to circulate and post like crazy because we were bored as hell between high school or college semesters. The reality is that forums in general have very much been eclipsed by Discord and social media in general, in that respect.

I used to be staff on that place as well as its predecessor, before Xkeeper ever took up the mantle of administration business, and while there were a lot of things I learned and a lot of people I appreciate from it...it ended up boiling down to drama a lot of other things that I don't want in my life. I'm very much reserved in terms of a person so straining myself to make a whole bunch of people happy when I had my life to contend with and jobs to pay didn't really do much for me. I'm just glad I got my terrible 20's done there and IRC because I learned quite a bit from it - who my friends really are.

That's the problem with most places in general - after a while they grow old and out of style. Happens in a lot of places. People change and so do their interests and what they have the free time for. As such, you should never expect any one place to be around forever. You're much better off searching out individuals to share your life with rather than a single community or two.

Granted, I'm not saying don't seek out communities - far from it; it helps generate who you want to talk to and finding friends but don't think for a second that you have to belong to any community either. You can come and go as you please. This isn't a job. People's thoughts about you shouldn't influence that and you should find the confidence to come and go and do with your life as you please. I think the farther removed from college and high school I got, the better I felt, in that respect. I'm close to 40 now and I wonder why I ever wasted the time worry about others negative feelings about me in that respect.

If you're really stumped on where to turn, look at your interests and your hobbies. Find people that like said interests and hobbies and that have low drama thresholds. You'll probably be happy with what you get.

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Main - The Officer's Club - Need somewhere to belong. Not here in particular. Just.. somewhere.


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