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Main - The Officer's Club - So my Grandpa's in the hospital...
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Marzen64
Posted on 01-07-12 12:41 AM Link | ID: 1266
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I almost feel like it's a bad idea to post this.


My grandpa on my dad's side passed out a few days ago, in the hallway of his retirement home. He has a problem with a valve in his heart, and has to be hooked up to a machine. He, of course, does not like this. He also has a directive that, if his heart stops, it should not be started up again. His heart stopped, but they didn't know about this directive, so he is still with us. Again, he's not very happy about this.

His wife, my Grandma, is in a very weak state. She can't really walk by herself, and needs to be hooked up to an oxygen machine at all times so she NEEDS someone to live with her. My Grandpa, though, wants to die. He's asked them to let him go, and they're giving him two days to think about it.


Have any of you had a family member be in this situation, asking to die? It's... heart wrenching.



Ryudo
Posted on 01-07-12 03:20 AM Link | ID: 1291
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That is indeed a really rough situation...one that nobody ever wants to be in. My wife's mother passed away unexpectedly this past summer, and that was hard enough.

I personally have not been in the exact same situation. Although when my grandfather passed away in 94, it was due to heart failure and they were unable to bring him out of it.

It is extremely heart wrenching and even though we don't know each other, I'm saddened to hear it. I wish you and your family the best during this ordeal. :(

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Mesia
Posted on 01-07-12 06:25 AM Link | ID: 1300
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I read this incredibly heartbreaking article on the New York Times awhile back that reminds me of your situation. I'm not sure if it can bring you comfort, but it made me think a lot about what I would wish for my own parents/grandparents if such a situation ever occurred.

I'm so sorry it has happened this way :(

Ferdal
Posted on 01-07-12 06:39 AM Link | ID: 1305
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My grandmother had several seizures that were making her alzheimers worse and worse, to the point where my mother's sister took her from her home because she really couldn't take care of herself anymore, and put her in an old folks home. She had fallen several times too which didn't help. She ofcourse wasn't completely delirious and knew everyone who visited, its just she thought Reagan was president still and other things like that, and well in the long run she knew that she didn't want to be there.

Her husband, our grandfather had passed away about 15 years ago from cancer, so she was doing alright for herself for awhile without any help other than her daughter who lived about 90 mins away and my mother who lived here in NY (she lived in MA, cape cod)

My aunt wasn't really the most caring person but it's not like she didn't help her when she could, so when we went to visit her yknow 6-8 hours away, we took her out to dinner and out to the JFK museum and well just had a good time with her, and she eventually towards the end of our trip she says she doesn't want to live anymore.

The next time we came to visit about 6-8 months later she was under morphine, and we were waiting for her to pass away. It was terrible but atleast the pain was over for her.

My story isn't exactly the same but, I can kind of relate. My prayers go out to you and your family buddy.

Nick
Posted on 01-07-12 01:28 PM Link | ID: 1319
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Ferdal, I went through something like you did with my grandmother too. It's really the worst.

Marzen, never feel afraid to share or get things off your chest with us. I hope everything can go well with your family through this trying time. Best wishes.

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Marzen64
Posted on 01-07-12 05:30 PM Link | ID: 1511
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Thanks for all the support, guys. Just an update: They had decided to try to operate on him one more time, and if it wasn't successful, they'd take the tube out of him and let him go. It wasn't successful, so everyone's going to visit him and say their goodbyes.

I'm five states away, so I can't.



Manda
Posted on 01-07-12 05:51 PM Link | ID: 1513
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I'm sorry to hear about this. :(

Haz
Posted on 01-07-12 06:22 PM Link | ID: 1519
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That's really an awful situation to be in, Marzen.
Can you at least call him?

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Kiyoshi
Posted on 01-07-12 11:29 PM Link | ID: 1539
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I don't know what to say...

Good luck and good health to you all, I guess...

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Marzen64
Posted on 01-09-12 01:29 AM Link | ID: 1907
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I didn't get to see him cause he was up in Maryland, and college is starting. I have to work my ass off this semester or I gotta go to a not-expensive school.

But anyways, he just passed away. They had taken the tube out yesterday, my brother got to see him cause he lived a state away, and he was happy. He was talking and being his usual self. Apparently he passed away comfortable, not in pain, and making dirty jokes. I guess there's that, that makes me happier about the situation. He always was the jokey pervy old guy, with his gynecologist job and all that.

But anyways that's putting an end to this chapter. Thank you everyone for your good thoughts and words, I really appreciate it.



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