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12-13-18 03:33 AM
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Main - The Officer's Club - multiple issues going on
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Jamie
Posted on 04-09-18 09:59 PM Link | ID: 130332
Banned

outta here.
Level: 65


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Since: 06-03-14

Last post: 32 days
Last view: 32 days
hey. I'm autistic... And
suspecting
something else.
I seem to encounter
a lot of instability, like
creating and
destroying
communities and
very easily changing
mind.
My obsession/
hyperfixation issue
got worse since jan
16 too, it was bad
already but now i
cannot stop creepily
obsessing and
stalking people. I also
seemingly cannot
stop listening and
obsessing over the
band feeder, im
listening to 'turn'
right now
Also the internet
hooks me so much i
forget to do anything
else...
Sometimes over
small things i get
suicidal thoughts but
am to weak to do it.
Or end up acting like a
5 year old...
Help...

Nicolyn
Posted on 04-09-18 10:14 PM Link | ID: 130334
Administrator
Goddess of the Apocalypse
Level: 171


Posts: 11166/12035
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Since: 01-03-12
From: Boston, MA

Last post: 12 hours
Last view: 12 hours
11166 2535 80
I think the most important thing to do in a situation like this is to remember: It's not your fault. People's brains work in different ways; hating yourself because of who you are is pointless.

The other important thing to remember is that you don't have to be alone. It sounds like this is a serious problem to you that's impacting your life; in situations like this, it's worth it to try to find a good therapist. I know it can be hard, especially starting out, but having someone you can talk to can be a godsend.

Finally, surround yourself with understanding people. Find friends who will understand, can give you space when you need it, and forgive your transgressions when you can't control yourself.

A lot of what you say reminds me of tendencies in myself, except maybe more extreme... I wish I could help more :<


Thieppy
Posted on 04-10-18 07:22 AM Link | ID: 130340


gee, waffles!
Level: 94


Posts: 2221/3209
EXP: 8318834
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Since: 03-19-13
From:

Last post: 1 day
Last view: 13 hours
"now I cannot stop creepily obsessing and stalking people."

from all I've seen from you up til now, it's not that bad. you're not creeping anybody and you need to stop worrying so hard about it that you end up doing things like these. the situation is only going to worsen if you think it's hopeless; and it's not yet to that point.
you have some unusual issues, I won't deny that. but you've had issues in the past as well. and you've overcome some of them, but you're feeling bad right now for those you couldn't. your life is at a standstill and you can't get progress at anything. I know how that one feels.

you're nowhere near hopeless. if only you would accept to let us help; if you keep pushing us away when we try to help, only to come back acting apologetic later, we can't do much.

please stop hiding behind a million names, accounts, emails, and let us talk to you. you're not all alone. you don't have to go through this all alone and wreck your mind over it.

____


"I'm autistic... And suspecting something else."

if you're autistic, all the more the reason you should get some help; it doesn't have to be a professional like a therapist, all help is still help. you'll be much happier with some help backing you up for your daily life.

you know, in a perfect world all autistic people would still be there. the difference is that they would all get proper help. they deserve this much.

____


"I seem to encounter a lot of instability, like creating and destroying communities and very easily changing mind."

that's the issue I pointed out to you, isn't it. you have all the trouble in the world picking your choices and sticking to them. while it's up to you, not all choices have to be done alone.

____


"My obsession/hyperfixation issue got worse since jan 16 too, it was bad already"

that's because your life isn't moving anymore. you can't move on, and problems stay as they are. when a problem stays for too long, no matter how you keep pushing it to the back of your mind, it still stresses you over the course of your life. if you never confront the problem, you won't get ahead.

____


"I also seemingly cannot stop listening and obsessing over the band feeder, im listening to 'turn' right now"

what's so bad about it? even I keep listening to songs or soundtrack for hours to days if I like it and it fits my mood. I'm even doing it right now. listening to not-so-happy soundtrack helps me focus on writing this here.

____


"Also the internet hooks me so much i forget to do anything else..."

let me tell you about my own experience here.
without realizing it, for a long time I used videogames and the internet mostly and almost solely, to escape my life. my whole school life is a fucking lie and when it comes down to it, it's my fault. but I couldn't carry the burden. no kid can, not without assistance. so I ran away and let my course fall apart. for a while, it felt better because I forced my worries to the back of my mind while focusing on fun things and some social interaction. but as my situation worsened while I lazed away, so did my stress. constantly blamed and blaming myself, I only kept trying to run away more. and that kept going until the day I snapped.

internet is just fine if you don't take it too far. if you're to be so into it, then your internet life has to at least be stable and equivalent to your immediate social life. it's a balance. if you have internet and no (or not enough) social, you'll get stuck on the internet.

____


"Sometimes over small things i get suicidal thoughts but am to weak to do it. Or end up acting like a 5 year old..."

yes, small things. but can you tell me, or even count the amount of "small things" that piled up while your life was at a standstill, lost over your issues?
when you can't get over your problem, you're stuck. and what do you think happen in the meantime? shit piles up.
at first you ignore it, but over time it severely demoralizes you, and you get all the more stuck. it's a full cycle you can only escape from if you take action. but for that, you need help because your motivation hit rock bottom.

also. I know you're not a very assertive type of guy, and you're easily pushed, pressured into doing things you regret in the long term. and that also applies to your own thoughts. if you think of suicide as an escape, no matter how horrible suicide really is, you will feel tempted.


I'm somewhat glad you made this thread. if you're finally doing something and we can actually talk to you, that's progress.
one step at a time, and much easier than from locking yourself away hoping to somehow mature, getting help and advice from us will at least get you somewhere.

____________________
I goofed.

Moonlight Capital
Posted on 04-10-18 05:46 PM Link | ID: 130371
Click here for catgirls
Level: 27


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Since: 04-26-16
From: Italy

Last post: 68 days
Last view: 6 hours
Ahem...

Don't forget that, unlike me, you have the power to make friends while my communication skills are worse than anyone else.

Like Nicole said, it's not your fault. I always discharge my fault on others due to the circumstances I see, like if I miss a bus due to mum not waking me up earlier, it's her fault.


Also the internet
hooks me so much i
forget to do anything
else...


That happens to me too. Yet again, circumstances, liek I live in an apartment at the 2nd floor of a building, which is not good for going out or something. I think at least mine is a reaction to restrictive parents that hate technology so much.

=== anything past this line was written hours ago ===

Seriously, Thierry said you need to listen to people, just do it. Ignore all the people deemed toxic, who seem to like you to get loved by people. Listen to true friends like ME!

Oh, and saying that, someone (not mentioning who) claims that all this stuff is just a comedy built up for some whatever reason (no, it's not staple the person i'm thinking of)

If this is true, this is the real wall you need to destroy. If you want to have a talk with someone, i'm always open.

I hope you take seriously what we say, since I'm just trying to make you feel healthy.

Moonlight Capital
Posted on 04-16-18 04:59 PM Link | ID: 130614
Click here for catgirls
Level: 27


Posts: 137/241
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Since: 04-26-16
From: Italy

Last post: 68 days
Last view: 6 hours
Ok, mega update:

Posted by jamie
Okay, so... IceyZoey here.

The confusion starts from about 2/4/2018. I randomly leave the DC about 5pm that day, and disappear again. Later on, about half a week later and I happen to return on the emails; few days later, I'm gone again and haven't been seen since until today.

My parents figured I'd been using the Internet... then figured I'd used it again after the laptops had been taken away, through the W810i, a 2006 feature phone I own.

Basically, my dad phoned the Tesco Mobile operators to take away EDGE/GPRS access from my W810i unless I provide a randomly-generated code to the network that was given to my dad on the day, hence why I disappeared again, and I made no bother to effort make any other contact with anyone, until I have gone back to school, which is today. (Moonlight you can confirm this through the IP I'm posting from, it should be a LightSpeed Systems proxy starting with 194.80)

So I won't be returning. Not anytime soon, anyhow - even then, I'm not returning to most of the places I was at: since it seems you greatly affect my life in a negative way and I'm very easily influenced (i.e. naiive) , I'm leaving almost completely the AcmlmBoard and related communities when I do come back, which is probably sometime after I start college (so basically, sometime early 2019 at the earliest). I don't even do anything if I go near a computer, so I want to stay away from them for the longest time.

Discord is also a no-go for me, since I met many people who I caused issues for there. I'm not letting others deal with me when I decide to be a manipulative little ****.

Just forget about me, or leave me as a memory, or something like that, I suppose... there's no need to remember such a lunatic as me. I've got severe issues, that won't be solved for a long time, and possibly never. My 'community' also lasted about 2 years too long, so please leave it, since it's not even mine and there's no draw for it.

(Also, on a side note, I've decided it's final that I'm not going to transition... that's that)


Source

I don't honestly know how to react, but anyways this is what jaime said.

Nicolyn
Posted on 04-16-18 05:04 PM Link | ID: 130616
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Since: 01-03-12
From: Boston, MA

Last post: 12 hours
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I took a break from the Acmlmboard community when I was around the same age, actually- it's healthy to do so. I wish them the best with however their future goes.

Might as well close this thread since they seem unlikely to come back anytime soon. @"IceFairyAmy", if you're ever back on the board, PM me to reopen it.


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Main - The Officer's Club - multiple issues going on


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