Posted by Liliana

---

Posted by Aesur

---

Sorry if this turns to rambling but having a bad back sucks, lost my job, lost my girl, and now pretty much lost my life for awhile as doctors use me as a ping pong ball. I can't even stand up for five minutes and they don't know what to do to help me yet they wont even talk about disability with me. It's so fucking frustrating watching my life just tick away sitting in this chair all day. At this rate I'll end up living on the streets should anything happen to my dad >.>

---

Oh wow, that must've hit hard. I feel terribly sorry for you.

---

I'd be insane if I said it didn't but I'm somehow managing to keep my sanity through all this (Even if I have almost ended it all a few times) Worst part is I was born with this bad back and already had surgery once so having it again would be pointless.

Posted by Gywall

---

Why does upgrading the PHP version on a server have to be such a royal pain?

---

I found coding usually is, but I am exceptionally inept at it.


I'm about to be heading out to hang with friends for the rest of the day so I'm feeling a little anxious. I tend to over think things, especially when it comes to other people. It's a few people I don't know as well either, so that certainly doesn't help.

Oh and it's all women

Currently trying to figure out what to do about my situation, then again there isn't a moment where that isn't on my mind. Went to physical therapy yesterday and my therapist wasn't there. The therapist that works with mine took over most of the patients so that they wouldn't have to reschedule them all. After the therapist reviewed my chart and then seen me she was completely shocked because of how young I am and how young I look. She couldn't understand why someone of my age had such a bad back. This just adds to my annoyance that they wont talk to me about disability.

To make everything worse, I over heard my father and grandmother talking after my therapy session yesterday. It's obvious that they are fed up with the whole situation, though it's understandable. But knowing they feel that way, even though they will still help, just makes it hurt worse to be a burden. I'm not even able to look them in the eyes anymore because I know how they really feel beneath that smile.

I've tried talking to disability lawyers but they either wont help me until I try for disability through my doctor or I get my doctor to agree to help the lawyer. They tell me with my back and my depression I have a good chance, though my age may ruin it. Hell I couldn't even finish my physical therapy session yesterday, I had to leave early because of pain. I go back to my neurosurgeon next week so hopefully I will get some good news from him. Though I'm getting tired of waiting, even if it's the only thing I can do.