warning this story is probably highly offensive if the word offensive is offensive STOP READING NOW
if you think obama is doing a great job FUCKING STOP READING NOW
IF YOU THINK THE WORD "FUCK" IS OFFENSIVE THEN OOPS I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS

my goal here is to be as random as Haruto and also offend #acmlm
no I did not ask many of the people who got cameos in this if they wanted to be in it or not.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO obama was spending over $9000 every day on burritos to throw at old people but they didn't like it very much in fact they regretted voting for him OH WELL. he was almost impeached but then he gave every old person an OLD PERSON TV that only had the Obama Channel which had speeches and interviews and stuff of Obama 24/7 and that somehow made it okay. the national debt was 999999999999 trillion after just two months as president. the economy was a fucking mess.

so now Obama was sitting at his desk at the FUCKING WHITE HOUSE or something, fucking trying
to order a copy of Bomberman and Billy Mays called him on the phone

Billy:"HI BILLY MAYS HERE I HAVE AN AMAZING OFFER 'I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' TSHIRT ONLY $19.95"
Obama:"shut up billy mays can't you see I'm busy"
Billy:"BUSY WITH WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING UP THE ECONOMY"
Obama:"no I'm not. shut up"
---and then vegeta came on the phone----
Vegeta: "well you spent like over 9000 dollars a day"
Obama: "NO I DIDN'T FUCK YOU"

obama slammed the phone down in rage

and then it rang again
Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR HOMO INSURANCE"
Obama: "stop calling me to sell me homo insurance"
Billy: "YEAH BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE CALLS YOU A HOMO YOU GET A DOLLAR"
Obama: "why would I want that I'm fucking rich how else would I be able to afford THE OBAMA CHANNEL"
Billy: "NO THAT ISN'T YOUR MONEY YOU RETARD! YOU KEEP SPENDING AND NOW WE'RE 999999999999 TRILLION IN DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Vince: "hey buy shamwow"
Billy: "SHUT THE FUCK UP VINCE NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Vince: "WELL AT LEAST I didn't fuck up the ECONOMY"
Billy: "OH RIGHT"
Obama: "SHUT THE FUCK UP i didn't ruin the economy"
Billy: "HEY AS A SPECIAL OFFER I'LL GIVE YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY SHIRT' ABSOLUTELY FREE"
Obama: "oh hey FREE STUFF i'll take it ship it to my house immediately"
Billy: "OH OKAY MR PRESIDENT HMMMMMMMMMMMM"

so the special tshirt got shipped to the whitehouse in a box with PONIES ON IT
Obama: "OH BOY OH BOY ITS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he opens it and pulls out the tshirt and it was actually the original "I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY" shirt
AND IT GLOWED IN THE DARK. and he PUT THE SHIRT ON without actually taking the other one off.

Obama: "OH FUCK ITS TIME TO WATCH POKEYMANS"
so he turned on the TV
AND HE TURNED INTO "BROCK OBAMA"

Obama: "wtf I'm a pokemon gym leader"
except he didn't actually have any pokemon he just looked like brock from pokemon
AND THEN MISTY SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR
Obama: "oh fuck you"
and then obama was "BaROCKET Obomba" and no longer looked like brock
NOW HE LOOKED LIKE EITHER A TERRORIST OR A ROBOT OR EVEN A TERRORIST ROBOT
i can't decide which
AND HE BLEW STUFF UP WITH MISSILES AND BOMBS

Obama: "oh oops SORRY MISTY DIDN'T MEAN TO BLOW YOU UP"
and then obama ate healthy snacks and was "BAROCCOLI OBAMA"
and he BLEW THE FUCKING NATIONAL DEBT EVEN HIGHER BY BUYING WAY TOO MUCH BROCCOLI.

and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Obama: "WTF BUSH YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THAT also you aren't kool aid man"
and then he was barocket obama and blew up more stuff
Obama: "...fuck"
and then bush was kool aid man and busted through another wall
Obama: "OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"
and then Obama was normal obama

and then BILLY MAYS BUSTED THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL
Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE BUY KOOL AID OH YEAH"
Obama: "oh shut the fuck up billy. bush was already kool aid man"
Billy: "THEN MAYBE I COULD be the KOOL AIDS MAN THAT WOULD BE SORT OF DIFFERENT"
Billy: "ALSO WE DIDN'T SEND YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' SHIRT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO SEND YOU"
Obama: "oh fuck I didn't notice"
and then obama took off the shirt

but the next time pokemon was on NOTHING HAPPENED
the next time he ate healthy NOTHING HAPPENED
the next time someone random showed up NOTHING HAPPENED

SO BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY SHOWED UP AND WAS ALL "obama that shirt made you shift between barack and brock and barocket and baroccoli"
Obama: "Oh FINE GEEZ"
and obama put the shirt back on

then Obama went to a rock concert and became BAROCKSTAR OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obama: "OH FUCK"
and then obama did a guitar solo
AN EPIC GUITAR SOLO
A VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO
A VERY VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO
okay stop it with the stupid stuff
sorry

ANYWAY BAROCKSTAR OBAMA WAS VERY FAMOUS
and then pokemon came on
AND HE WAS somehow BROCKSTAR OBAMA and somehow did pokemon themed guitar solos
it was very illegal

AND THEN OBAMA GOT ARRESTED
and there were CDi characters there
and mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA DIS IS ILLEGAL YU NO"
and then there was lots of toast (blame NovaBot)
Fat Mario: "OH FUCK TOO MANY TOASTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS"
and then obama was barocket obomba
AND BLEW UP A WALL
AND SNUCK OUT
and nobody noticed it

well actually someone did notice it
mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL"
but obama didn't care

ALSO OBAMA COLLECTED $200 WHICH HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO
and then became baroccoli obama and spent it on healthy foods
AND THEN HE PASSED GO
which was illegal

OH FUCK WE AREN'T PLAYING MONOPOLY

...

OH YES WE ARE
OBAMA BUILT HIS FUCKING MANSION ON BOARDWALK
with lasers and FUCKING DORITOS DISPENSERS
actually no the doritos shot lasers



obama gets in his OBAMA MOBILE
and drives to BOARDWALK MANSION

AND THE FUCKING BILLYBOB GUY WAS THERE
Obama: "get off my fucking house"
bob: "oh okay"


AND THEN HE DROVE TO # AND the topic was Persistence in bad habits
BUT THEN OBAMA SET THE TOPIC TO "farte butte"
AND GOT KICKED OUT BY A PONY OOPS I MEAN BRONY
HIS NAME STARTED WITH A "K"

and then obama drove to the store (SAW POKEMON ON THE TVs, WAS BROCK OBAMA)
and bought some nerf guns and infinite pizza rolls with his credit card
<Kawa> And I got my card so money's not an issue.
<NovaYoshi> it's a credit card except it adds to the national debt of the united states
<NovaYoshi> obama has 5
<Kawa> Stop that
<NovaYoshi> :<
and then crafted PIZZA ROLL GUN.


but just then RICK ASTLEY ATTACKED THE CITY WITH PAPER DOLL MAN
Onix: WOAH ONIX GO
Onix: onix onix
Obama: ONIX USE THUNDERBOLT
wtf he doesn't have that move
actually didn't I mention earlier that brock obama didn't actually have any pokemon?

PAPER DOLL MAN USED HIS SOLAR RAY GUN
AND MADE A PRINTER COME ALIVE
and then it printed off furry porn
OH OOPS............................................
............................oh sweet that's hot

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

ANYWAY, THERE WAS BLOOD AND SPERM EVERYWHERE
HE JUST KEPT SAYING, "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"

so obama EQUIPPED HIS PIZZA ROLL GUN and shot at rick astley
BUT THAT FAILED BECAUSE HE JUST ATE THE PIZZA ROLLS
aaaaaaa
AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THERE WAS THAT FUCKING JON MAHON CYBORG FROM MY LAST STORY
he shot a laser rocket from his nipple and blew up a building
but then RICK ASTLEY GOT SCARED OF EITHER JON MAHON OR PAPER DOLL MAN AND HID
so Paper Doll Man slipped quietly through the crack in the door to Rick's house
and stole over 9000 copies of NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP (also there was PLAN X in the house)
and then later JON MAHON FOUND OUT AND TOLD RICK ASTLEY
and rick was absolutely furious and went after paper doll man but he kept slipping through door cracks
and could never catch him
or even find him now because he turned into a paper airplane and flew away
but rick didn't know that
so he gave up

ANYWAY RICK AND JON MAHON LEFT THE CITY BECAUSE THEY GOT BORED

Obama: "I WON :3"
no you did not

and then on the moon a paper airplane showed up at the house of some moon bunny
named Inaba and then turned out to be PAPER DOLL MAN. although plan X was at rick astley's
house, plan XXX was at Inaba's, which Paper Doll Man also wanted for some reason.
It had a detailed plan for what would happen if he ever arrived at a certain yoshifox's house.

so Paper doll man stole plan XXX and flew off but Inaba followed him in a spaceship over to a
certain house, ON EARTH. Inaba looked around in the house but could not find the paper doll man
anywhere...
...but sitting on the couch was a certain yoshifox.

;3

meanwhile Osama bin Laden had just blown up some guy's house and they were chasing after him
but he went to the moon and nobody could find him because he was on the moon. The guy then
went to NASA and asked for a spaceship but it costed too much and then later Osama blew up
the moon and that was illegal but he never got arrested because nobody could find him because
he was hiding on the moon. HOWEVER he remembered he blew it up and went to Mars instead and
built a secret base with Martian technology.

Inaba learned of this and noticed that Paper Doll Man had saved his life, causing him to become
very obsessed with paper doll man.

well fuck

well Bomberman finally got delivered but Obama did not see the possible name pun
and he became
Barack Obomberman

...

oops then someone random showed up at the door and he was BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN


which was kind of illegal but not enough for people to care

SO THEN LATER OBAMA DROVE TO PIZZA HUT AND GOT A PIZZA
AND WROTE "FROM #BOTPLACE" ON IT AND DROVE 125 MILES TO GIVE IT TO
A LOUPDRAKE IN TEXAS who was with jon mahon and an opposum
who did not care because said loupdrake hated Obama
BUT GAVE OBAMA THE "Big City Detergent Ball" which must be
a super powered version of the Oxiclean Detergent Ball, right?
no

IT GOT SHIT ALL OVER HIS CLOTHES
OH SHIT

anyway normal jon mahon was there and he saw obama's awesome tshirt
and got one for his own so he could do cool transformations but the author
can't think of any good puns on Jon's name other than "JON MORON" and that's
not very cool - well, maybe he could be SHAH JAHAN (didn't the author confuse
the two once in 7th grade I think they did) but that was stupid

so obama drove away from the loupdrake's house and tried to drive to Billy Mays's house
but there was a fucking BILLY MAZE blocking it (obama's too dumb to get through the maze)
so he went somewhere else back to his fuckin doritos laser house

so then obama saw a guy's house getting lifted away into microsoft's anti-piracy department
with a gigantic crane with a metal claw on the end because he downloaded windows 7
but he was playing fucking megazeux games
so in his next speech he mentioned megazeux and talked about the guy who he called Guy
<NovaYoshi> get Obama to talk about MZX
<Guy> that would be horrible
<Guy> oh, god
<Guy> all reporters investigating me
and then reporters investigated Guy and asked him questions in lots of interviews



so he drove back to # and the BRONY WHOSE NAME STARTED WITH K was high and he was married to a
guy named juana really it was kind of disgusting.
GET IT?????????? MARRIED JUANA -> MARIJUANA.
?!!?!???!??? anyway he changed his name to KARL MARX because for lunch everyday he ate communism
how he did it was he took a toaster-strudel and drew a hammer and sicle on it.

and then a DIFFERENT brony whose name started with K who was not high nuked a country
because they embedded Friday in their national anthem
<Kawa> Requesting a layout nuke on Perfect Infinity
<Kawa> For embedding a hidden autoplaying Youtube of "Friday".
<Kawa> In his signature.
and that was illegal so he went to jail

ANYWAY KAWA had a phone and he saw the number 1101227 (phone thought it was a number)
and touched it accidentally
Kawa: oh fuck did not mean to do that
and IT CALLED OBAMA SO THEY GOT INTO A CONVERSATION

Kawa: Okay who is this
Obama: THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES YOU DOPE
Kawa: i am in europe
Obama: GOING TO SEND YOU FIVE DOLLARS
Kawa: what that's not my currency wtf
so then obama hung up

wtf

so then OBAMA DROVE TO CANADA
and then he forced some poor guy named tubular into his car
BUT AFTER THAT he drove 125 miles to nova's house
and he dropped tubular off
and JUST FUCKING DROVE AWAY

some very naughty things went on in that house

and then obama drove to PEN ISLAND where everything was shaped like pens
like seriously there were no coconuts the pens grew on trees
so OBAMA MOVED "IS" over to be part of "PEN" and it was kind of inappropriate after that
fucking penis grew on trees man
FUCKING PENIS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so Obama went back home to the whitehouse and was going to take a nap in the oval office
but then Hitler busted into the room after years of everybody thinking he's dead, and he
was like, "IIIIIIIIII'M BACK!" and tore off his shirt, revealing gigantic pecs because he's
been working out while hiding, and he starts beating the fuckin' shit out of everybody,
starting with the French government.

it was pretty stupid, and eventually Goku found him and decided to battle.
BUT THIS CAUSED HITLER TO GO FUCKING "ARYAN RAGE" MODE WITH BLOND+SPIKY HAIR and BLUE EYES.
and they were trying to shoot at eachother with kamehamehas and stuff and hit lots of buildings

so obama played bomberman and went BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN
and found them and tried throwing bombs at them to get them to stop but he had a terrible aim
and that only blew up more buildings

fuck

so then Vegeta showed up and fucked shit up.
but obama went home because he just didn't care


well Nova somehow got power in Karl Marx's FUCKING HOUSE and well...
* tubular removes ban on huge_boner!*@*
* tubular removes ban on thick_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on /ban!*@*
* tubular removes ban on osama_bin_laden's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on glenn_beck's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on obama's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on action_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on cunt!*@*
* tubular removes ban on fuck!*@*
* tubular removes ban on moldy.cheese!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Bill_Nye's_cock!*@*
* tubular removes ban on long_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on thick_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on astronauts.without.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on astronauts.with.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on this.that.space.penises.are.not.in!*@*
* tubular removes ban on things.that.are.not.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on space_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on erect_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on okay_fine_asshole!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Nova_that_isn't_funny!*@*
* tubular removes ban on more_unnecessary_bans!*@*
* tubular removes ban on I_found_waldo!*@*
* tubular removes ban on find_waldo!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Nova_stop_that!*@*
* tubular removes ban on unnecessary_ban!*@*
* tubular removes ban on power_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on old_person_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on big_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on hairy_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on robot_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on child_penises!*@* <-- keeps Mare out
* tubular removes ban on medium_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on small_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on huge_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*
* tubular sets ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*
* tubular sets ban on bttest*!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *penis*!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *waldo!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *ban!*@*
but that COMPLETELY RUINS EVERYTHING
THE WHOLE POINT WAS HAVING TONS OF PENIS STUFF IN THE BAN LIST
I MEAN GEEZ


so Obama drove to Microsoft's anti-piracy department to rescue Guy
and there were armed ninjas blocking the way
but he just sniffed their armpits and they weren't armed ninjas anymore
they were armpit ninjas

SO THEY ATTACKED WITH ARMPIT FART NOISES
which didn't put up any challenge at all and Obama just drove on through
to the room with Guy in it
and he took Guy and put him in his car
AND GUY DREW AN AVATAR FOR OBAMA THAT WAS 40 PIXELS WIDE AND 56 PIXELS TALL
IN TWO COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

obama thanked him and dropped him off at mcdonalds

WHERE BILLY MAYS WAS SHOWING OFF HIS BIG CITY SLIDER STATION
MAKING OVER 9000 BURGERS FOR EVERYONE
vegeta was there and ate 3
BUT HE ALSO SOLD TONS OF PRODUCTS LIKE THE "WHAT CHILDREN? ELIMINATOR"
and the restrooms were replaced with the BIG CITY TOILET
that you could plug in anywhere to shit in
guy ate like 2 burgers

obama drove to UNITINU
where everything was a palindrome
and where people drove racecars and there were guys named otto
and the national animal was the TACO CAT.
and his shirt caused him to become OBABO ( http://imgur.com/gallery/QkQmz )
where there was also OSASO ( http://i.imgur.com/AykPy.jpg )
and then obabo went and saw there was a presidential election coming up
the other canidate was amama and looked pretty fucking weird
so obabo ran for president in unitinu and won because the other canidate
looked fucking weird I mean it's like obabo except using the other half
of the name mirrored.

THE HIT TV SHOW IN UNITINU WAS NAMED "cailliou tlt ouilliac" and
it was about a mirror imaged bald kid who made pizzas.
BUT THE COUNTRY WAS AT WAR WITH MEXIOIXEM
so obabo left (and became obama again)
and OSASO fucking took over
and unitinu blew up countries
especially fucking MEXIOIXEM
and cailliou became racist and eventually became "pinkie pie tlt oulliac"
and that was the new hit show

well OSASO teamed up with super saiyan hitler and goku
and they were an unstoppable team

SO OBAMA GOT CYBORG JON MAHON ON HIS TEAM
WHO WAS (according to the Jon Mahon Chronicles) EVEN MORE UNSTOPPABLE
he shot missiles out of his nipples and blew up buildings
but never actually hit hitler or goku or osaso

anne frank was hiding in one of the buildings so she jumped out right in time
and hitler and goku saw her
hitler wanted to get rid of her because she was a jew
but goku FELL IN LOVE WITH ANNE FRANK
and hitler and goku went off to fight somewhere
leaving osaso vs CYBORG JON MAHON and obama
(but it doesn't really matter since obama is a dumbass)
so osaso ran away

well everyone was fucking pissed with Obama
FUCKING DRIVING EVERYWHERE
instead of actually doing actual president things...
and impeached him
( that means he ate a peach )
and jon mahon became president
who was a very bad president and made farting illegal
and he also got impeached

---

OBAMASTORY 2

A SEQUEL TO OBAMASTORY
The goal here is to be random with no or little plot,
but I keep accidentally inserting a hint of plot
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
after Jon Mahon was impeached for making farting illegal
there were two major canidates:
RONALD MC.DONALD
and THE BURGER KING
with each person's campaign being paid for by the fast food restauraunt they
are associated with. (obviously)
nobody thought of bribing anyone though
because that wasn't what they did, yo

Ronald McDonald was mostly concerned with serving billions
but the Burger King just wanted to do things his way

Bill Gates called Kool Aid Man on THE PHONE
Bill: "Hi is this the kool aid man"
Kool Aid Man: "OH YEAAAAAAAAAAH oh sorry - yes it is sorry"
Bill: "I think you should run for president"
Kool Aid Man: "wait you really think I should"
Bill: "SURE! I'll sponsor you"

so kool aid man got tons of money from bill gates
and decided to run as a 3rd canidate ;3
unlike the other two canidates his political platform was "KOOL AID FOR EVERYONE"
and everyone liked kool aid a lot more than that other stuff
because kool aid is delicious YO
( and he had excellent advertising )

well everyone voted for kool aid man
even people who weren't old enough to vote
and he was elected for president

so Kool Aid Man called a government guy
Kool Aid Man: "Hey I think all the drinking fountains should have kool aid"
government guy: "okay you got it mr president"
and then he hung up
AND THEN ALL DRINKING FOUNTAINS HAD KOOL AID
which was kind of cool ( or should I say kool ;3 )
and congress had to say "OH YEAH" a lot more
(Kool Aid mix was also poured into George the Volcano and he wasn't happy about that)

and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kool Aid Man: "HEY THATS MY LINE YOU STUPID"
Bush: "plus I already did this early on in the previous story"
so Kool Aid Man sent Bush to jail for breaking the 4th wall

where he saw Kawa and the CDi characters.
Kawa: "oh hey it's george bush"
Bush: "HIIIIIIIIIIII KAWA" =^___^=
Kawa PINNED BUSH TO THE WALL, "HEY. YOU GET US OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW"
Bush: "please don't hurt me"
this time the walls were OH YEAAAAAAAAAH proof
so they couldn't get out that way
Kawa let go of Bush and Ganon told the ceiling that IT MUST DIE
so a chunk in the ceiling was knocked out leaving a hole
and Kawa FUCKING pushed Gwonam off his flying carpet and rode out of it out of the hole.
Gwonam: "HEY THATS MY CARPET"
Kawa: "lol don't care"
so he flew away
and Gwonam got so pissed off that he turned Kawa into a pony
( he didn't know Kawa would actually like this )
so Kawa fell off the magic carpet but somehow landed safely
AND THERE WAS CHEERILEE!!!!!!!!!!!
umm, and then something happened!
<Kiyoshi> Your next story should contain more ponies
<Kiyoshi> And Kawa becoming a pony
<Kiyoshi> And sticking his giant horse dick into Cheerilee's pooper
--- we'll get back to Kawa later ---

a dolphin named Natalie was doing her SAT essay
a burglar broken in
<GreyMaria> I got fucking robbed on my SAT essay
and stole stuff
AND THEN KOOL AID FLOODED THE CLASSROOM and the essay was ruined
the burglar drowned though and the essay was ruined
but it was good for Natalie because SHE WAS A GOOD SWIMMER BECAUSE SHE'S A DOLPHIN
so she got an A+ anyway
anyway some fuckhead opened the class door and it poured out into the hallway and
THEN IT FLOODED THE HALLS.

OH SHIT
----------------------------
Ronald McDonald went back to mcdonalds
Ronald: "hey Guy haven't you been here a bit too long"
Vegeta: "HE'S BEEN HERE OVER 9000 DAYS"
Ronald: "shut up nobody asked you"
and then suddenly mcdonalds needed foundation repair
SO RONALD MCDONALD CALLED HOH SIS
and the joj people showed up
except one of the people had bunny ea- WAIT IS THAT INABA
no it's actually DOCTOR RABBIT, that purple dentist bunny
who heavily endorsed colgate toothpaste.
anyway they repaired the foundation (with lots of dental floss)
joj person: "we did whatever it took to get the joj done"

Kyurel (KARL MARX) had broken up with juana by then and was now dating
the WEED GOD HIMSELF. (he was much cooler)
he could take infinite hits and they were both always high 24/7.
Kyurel: "hey can I have a weed burger"
Ronald: "sorry we don't have those"
but BILLY MAYS was listening
Billy: "SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED THE BIG CITY DRUG STATION"
so Kyurel bought one.
WHICH WAS COMPLETELY POINTLESS since the WEED GOD could make people
high whenever he wanted so it wasn't needed but only for weed.
the big city drug station had weed AND cocaine mushrooms extacy and other drugs
which was kind of useful I guess
unlimited drugs whenever you need them FOR LIFE
----------------------------
BOMB BUILDINGS PLANES BOMBS HIJACK HIJACK BOMBS OSAMA BIN LADEN TERRORIST WHITE HOUSE
----------------------------
(back to Natalie's school)
* GreyMaria has an escape clause
and then suddenly an EVIL SANTA CLAUS ROBOT STARTED CHASING AFTER NATALIE
( Get it? Escape from Santa Claus? )
Santa: "What would you like for christmas young girl"
Natalie: "I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME THE _FUCK_ ALONE"
Santa: "sorry can't do that"
Natalie: "well can you get nova to leave me alone"
Santa: "NO SHUT UP PLZ"
so Natalie ran out of the school and went to hide in mcdonalds
----------------------------
Kyurel recognized her and waved, "OH HI NATALIE"
Natalie: "there's this evil santa robot after me and he's like worse than nova"
Natalie: "Nova would just hug me and walk away"
Natalie: "but this guy won't give up"
Kyurel: "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"
Kyurel: "well then let him get you something for christmas maybe he'll go away"
Natalie: "BUT THAT COULD BE ANYTHING"
Kyurel: "okay ask him for weed"
Natalie: "I'm not the weed-obsessed one okay"
Kyurel: "no, then you'd give it to ME"
Natalie: "what the FUCK can't your husband get you some I mean he *is* the weed god"
Kyurel: "oh right"
-----and back to the jail kawa broke out of-----
Bush was upset to be in jail
all they served for food was CHICK P SAC YO
which was disgusting because it was chicken shoved inside a PBJ with
salad on it and yogurt!

so he puked from how bad it was and said "GOD I'M NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE"
and suddenly a tornado picked him up and sent him to kansas
and he got in a wrestling match with dorothy and the wicked witch
the tin man kicked his ass though

-----okay back to kawa--------
*time had passed to conveniently skip the yiff scene*
so Kawa ended up at ponyville or something with cheerilee
and there was fluttershy who was too shy to do anything

but suddenly fluttershy was like "YOU'RE GOING TO (make love to) ME!!!!"
and then she pounced Kawa and snuggled (maybe naughtily?)
and that was kind of illegal but Kawa didn't complain
(who would?) ;3
and the santa claus robot ran by
but someone peed on it and it rusted and died

and obama was ponified somehow and ran for mayor (his cutie mark was the obama logo)
but the ponies didn't know any better and elected him

and he loved ponyville and friendship
but he got equestria $999999999999999999999 in debts somehow

and Kawa was so fucking pissed off because Nova talks about Obama too much
and this meant he had to hear about obama EVEN MORE

and there was a sign that said:
"OBAMAMEME! It is fun with IE5: scripting I had indecision is painful, where you got it from localhost... hmmm..."

but that made no sense whatsoever and was illegal
so it was taken down
and replaced with a sign that said "jon mahon for president 2017 MAKE FARTS ILLEGAL"

well Kiyoshi drove 125 miles to ponyville
and he walked up to fluttershy
who was.... busy with Kawa
but he pushed her off Kawa and hugged her :3
Fluttershy: "oh dear it's that kiyoshi guy"
Kiyoshi: "yeah"

and then a kid named MolSno appeared at Rainbow Dash's house
wearing a speedo
eating a burrito (and Doritos BUT WE DON'T DISCUSS THOSE)

and Rainbow Dash saw that burrito
and asked for it
so MolSno gave her the burrito

and she tackled MolSno
and something happened in that house!

----------------- BACK TO KOOL AID MAN'S PRESIDENCY ----------
he went OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
oh yeah oops

then a guy named Custer called him on the phone
Kool Aid Man: "HELLO THIS IS THE KOOL AID MAN"
Custer: "i want revenge yo"
Kool Aid Man: "HEY I PLAYED YOUR VIDEOGAME FOR ATARI 2600 IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME"
Custer: "yeah and I played yours yo IT FUCKING SUCKED"
Kool Aid Man: "oh YEAH well Custer's Revenge wasn't that cool either" >
Custer: "YOU JUST SAID YOU LIKED IT"
Kool Aid Man: "WELL... *YOU* are on The Pill"
Custer: "no lol its impossible"
so custer went to jail

but he raped native american women there
and got kicked out

and sent to ET's house as an alternative
and he wasn't allowed to leave until he beat ET for Atari 2600
meanwhile ET was phoning home and talking to custer's parents about his behavior
they were very disappointed in him

<NightKev> >"If there are extra-terrestrial intelligent beings at all, it is safe to assume that most of them are sinners too," Weidemann said. "If so, did Jesus save them too? My position is no. If so, our position among intelligent beings in the universe would be very exceptional."

this meant ET was going to hell!

so they were disappointed in ET too
-------------------------

Kool Aid Man was walking on the street and Jon Mahon was on the front lawn of the white house
Kool Aid Man: "JON MAHON GET OFF MY LAWN"
Jon Mahon: "lol come make me"
so then jon fondled a garden gnome
Kool Aid Man: "HEY JON WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE LAWN ORNAMENTS"
so jon picked it up and started running off
and kool aid man chased after him

...right into a nuke factory, where a radioactive coyote celebrity named Ezno worked.
He absolutely HATED his job so he was a special kind of hooker where if you did his
job for him he would repay you with yiff.

kool aid man was chasing jon mahon all over the place
Ezno: "woah woah woah wtf you guys get outta here"
Jon Mahon: "lol no"
so Ezno started running after Jon too

and then Barocket Obama bashed thrugh the wall and shot out a missile which blew up a nuke
and then there was a nuclear explosion
but a tiny one
Ezno: "OH FUCK EVERYONE OUT NOW"
so they got out
and nobody was harmed
except kool aid man who mutated into kool AIDS man
and nobody wanted that
so he was impeached!

----------------------------------
so it was back to the presidential elections!

now it was Ronald McDonald vs Barack Obama vs the Burger King

Barack Obama stood for:
<Distrcat> also: inb4 obama becomes a brony, and bronifies congress. then,
usa will become equestria. the constitution will be trashed, and rewritten
in accordance with tolerance and friendship

the Burger King however was getting financed by both Bill Gates *AND* Fortran
and he was running alongside his wife the Dairy Queen

every single person in america voted for the burger king
and to celebrate he had free whoppers for everyone

every mcdonalds went out of business and was replaced with a burger king,
so Vegeta and Kyurel and Weed God and Guy and Natalie and the others were at
a Burger King now, which also meant they had to hire stag019 immediately
( they also fired ronald mcdonald and he went on adventures with the touhou girls )
except he actually had weed so he was able to make Kyurel and the Weed God
the Weed Burger they wanted.

so they left!
and went back to their Farting-Underneath-Crazy-Kanadians-In-New-Germany house
( yes tubular is still there )
leaving Vegeta and Guy and Natalie together
( wait wasn't there billy mays too )
Okay Vegeta and Guy and Natalie and Billy Mays.

Guy went on DigitalMZX and commented on one of Lachesis's things
she emailed him a bag of pizza rolls
so he ate them and emailed her back the EMPTY BAG OF PIZZA ROLLS

----------------------------------
so the king of hyrule found out about burger king being president
and he shit his pants
except he forgot he wasn't wearing pants
and a guy was all "WTF YOU CAN'T TAKE A DUMP *HERE*"
so he went to jail
( the lack of pants was legal though )

Burger King got a call from the King of Hyrule.
King of Hyrule: "oh hi"
Burger King: "hi"
King of Hyrule: "calling you from jail because apparently all the cdi characters are there"
Burger King: "hey did you hear kawa got out"
King of Hyrule: "yeah why was he even in there"
Burger King: "ITS FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY"
King of Hyrule: "OH FUCK STOP THAT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL NUKE YOU"
Burger King: "Yeah that's what he did"
Burger King: "a country had Friday in its national anthem and he NUKED EM"
King of Hyrule: "how did he even get access to nukes"
Burger King: "dunno lol"
and he got off the phone with the king of hyrule
and declared war on nikoboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so nikoboard sent Velma from Scooby Doo to the White House.

she attacked by throwing her glasses at people like a boomerang
and they were super dangerous
and then going "JINKIES! I CAN'T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES"
and then it came back but made a loud fart noise when it did

and she got through all the guards to obama and told him to
stop the war on nikoboard and he did

----------------------------------
Karkat (from Homestuck) was hungry so he went in burger king
Karkat: "HI "
Billy Mays: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR MIGHTY PUTTY :3"
Karkat: "WHAT THE FUCK! ANOTHER ALL CAPS PERSON"
Karkat: "EXCEPT HE'S ACTUALLY HAPPY ABOUT HIS SHOUTING"
Billy Mays: "THAT'S RIGHT I LOVE TO SHOUT ALL THE TIME"
Billy Mays: "HEY BUY OXICLEAN"
Karkat: "FUCK NO I CAME HERE FOR A BURGER NOT CLEANING PRODUCTS"
Karkat: "CLEANING PRODUCTS ARE OFFENSIVE GTFO"
Billy Mays: "SOMEONE NEEDS TO TURN THEIR FROWN UPSIDE DOWN"
Vegeta: "wtf are you two doing"
Billy Mays: "TALKING TO THIS OTHER ALL CAPS GUY"
Billy Mays: "YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN AWESOME TOXIC SPRAY"
Billy Mays: "IT KILLS STUFF FROM UP TO 50 FEET AWAY"
Karkat: "SWEET GIVE ME OVER NI-"
Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111"
Karkat: "SHUT UP VEGETA"
so billy mays sold Karkat some Awesome Toxic Spray and Squadelah Putty.
and he left
but forgot to get a burger
OH WELL