This is a thread about the girl I love, but a little backstory first.
I've known Jenisha for about four years now. We met over the internet, but trust each other completely. We instantly became very close friends, and I also very quickly developed a small crush for her. I tried to give it up because of multiple reasons: 1) she had said she didn't want to be in a relationship until she graduated from college, so she could focus on school and 2) No relationships that are long distance, anyways. So I gave up.
Or at least tried to. This trying went on three years.
Every time I think I broke my crush, it came back pretty strong. It's hard to describe why, but if you've ever had very strong feelings for someone you find perfect, you might know kinda where I'm coming from. This went on for years, until finally I said to her "I'm heading down to Florida in the summer, when I'm there, let's meet up and go on a date". I meant a friend date, cause I talk about friend-dates a lot in our groups we hang out at. I didn't mean anything extreme, but she said yes and actually meant yes to a date date.
So turns out crushage was both ways, and I was happy as could be. This was somewhat short lived: Her dad said no. Jenisha's Indian, and in India there is no dating. Dating doesn't exist, so her parents don't really get what it is. They also want her to not be with anyone (cause they see it as a kind of marriage) until she graduates, cause she's too young. Also, they want her to be with an Indian only. Why, I can only assume (Bigotry, family issues, etc), but it hit me kinda hard. But then Jenisha said we should go out anyway. So we did, for five months, we secret-dated underneath her dad's nose, until he found out last week.
He knows she loves me back but that's not good enough for him. Indian or go home. I'm willing to wait the three years for us to graduate for her, that I'm fine with (I was fine with it before we secret-dated), but if he's going to refuse to let her be with who she wants, I dunno. He's said he'd never force her to marry, and he also said that once she graduated she could do whatever she wanted, but I'm afraid he won't hold that commitment. Jenisha says she hasn't given up hope, and neither have I, but I'm wondering if that's a good idea.
Anyone else know anything about Indian culture to help? Or even not, what do you think? Should I give up? I care for her a lot, but if it'll end up hurting us, I don't know. I know what I want, but I'm worried it's not for the best. What do you guys think?
(I was coerced into making this thread by Liliana, so if people think I'm being dumb or whining about my problems or whatever, there's an outlet to whine at
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