(no, not that kind of confession, that was long ago...)

I really struggled with whether or not to open this topic. But now I thought it's for the better, and that it will put some relief on all that strain I've kept with me for years.

Ever since I can remember, when I looked at fat people, be it in real life or on TV, I thought they were goegrous. I always admired them and it was my wish to be just like them. Of course, that's kind of not what society wants you to be, so I did nothing about it.

Now, I just thought I was weird since everyone else around me acted differently. It was not until the great depths of the Internet that I discovered that I'm not weird. It's the only thing that gives me that feeling of sexual attraction whenever I think about it, and it's something that keeps reoccuring in my dreams.

As some of you may know I'm kind of a total stick figure right now and totally not happy with it. Well, now you kind of know why. My dreams lie somewhere else. To me, it would seem wonderful to weigh 400 pounds, and actually be something of a force to be reckoned with, rather than "that one tiny girl in the corner". And I actually enjoy eating very much, especially when I'm at my relatives and they have all those sweets on the table, I can't hold myself and start eating until I get ill from all the sweets lol. It would be the same at home if there was any food there (I never buy anything lol).

Of course, this kind of thing requires some financial resources, and thus a job. But for now, the realm of fantasy will do its wonders. Maybe one day, when I actually earn my own money and can live an independent life, I might actually be able to pull this off. I would never be able to do this at home, maybe at my relatives (they've been trying to force feed me lately lol) but that's kind of far away and in the middle of nowhere (no good). Oh well. I'll have to see, and I wish that one day the dreams actually become reality.

Working out really isn't for me. You know how often I've had to endure exercise, mostly in school. I never liked it, and I doubt that will change. (Okay, except swimming, but I'm not really a good swimmer either, just enough to hold my head over the water!)

I bet if I started to eat properly (meaning more than just a measly slice of bread!) it'd all go along pretty easily but, I think I mentioned it, family. I don't live in the US so I don't get any penalties in health insurance or anything. Of course, at some point you won't be able to do much exercise and get out of breath much quicker, but I don't do much of that anyway. Any my job will most likely be in an office since I do computing, and in offices you just sit all day anyway.

Posted by Gywall

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I managed to gain quite a lot of weight by being pretty idle at one point. Quite often, people can burn off what they put on via as simple as their daily routine.

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I've heard of people gaining weight as they lost their job. Obviously it makes kind of a difference if you walk around all day or just lay in bed (or sit down all the time, i. e. every single office job on this planet). Office jobs in particular are where you are likely to see a lot of overweight people.