So I was at the doctor for a check-up, specifically an endoscopy. I've been told that everything is fine with me and my symptoms are entirely stress induced.

That's got me thinking. I've really been thinking and worrying too much about all kinds of things lately and that hasn't done my health any good.

For example, my life. I had no idea how it would go in the future, I'm always detesting living with my dad and lock myself in my room, wishing I can someday move out. Even though realistically, I know exactly I'd be overwhelmed with having an own apartment.

I'm also thinking way too much about school. Will it go well? Will I like it? Or will I be completely overwhelmed by either the school times or the topics? Should I just quit school altogether? These things always go through my head and stress me out.

Another source is of course Gywall. I always eat lunch super fast and run off straight away so I can catch her before she goes to lunch herself. My biggest fear is not being there when she needs me, so I spend every day at home checking the IRC window and don't allow myself to actually do stuff I want to do.

The doctor's right, that amount of stress isn't good to me. It doesn't help that I'm awful at handling stress to begin with. A full-time job is enough to make me collapse within two days; yes, this has happened to me. I should really relax and free my mind. Thinking about it, I probably need some extended vacation. If only my various appointments allowed for it. But I can't cancel them because an appointment's an appointment and I've commited myself to them and that just leaves no time for vacation.

Sigh. I really need to calm down a bit. I bet I'd be happier afterwards once I've got all that stress sorted out. If only I knew how.