I've been single for longer than I'd like, and I know what you mean. I've been through my share of heartache.

Women are going to be women. Some of them are motivated by drama, some are motivated by sex, and some are just baby hungry. (Those women just buy/adopt cats instead)

There's an ugly truth that anyone who's unhappily single needs to come to terms with. You are who you are, and some women (or men, depending on who you are) just don't fancy your type. There's a ton of types out there, and some are less desirable than others.

That is how society works.

The thing is, society doesn't know a damn thing about YOU. So why conform to it?

It happens all the time: they take one look at you, judges you by the minuscule time s/he took to look at you, then goes on their way. Or, maybe they are impressed enough to begin some kind of friendship or relationship, and then breaks it off because you're "not who they thought you were".

And then there's this one, which happens all too rarely: Perhaps, under normal circumstances, s/he doesn't consider a relationship, then discovers your genuine intentions or finds out that the things you do/have done are worthy of her attention.

Being single is hard. If you're motivated by meeting someone to be with, you have to play more than one game at a time. Don't just go for one girl and then put all your eggs in one basket. If you don't know very many girls, do something to change that. Don't dwell on what you don't have.

In fact, please don't take this as insensitivity, but I wish someone said to me what I am about to say to you when I was heartbroken: get over it. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll have a clear mind to learn from your experience and build a defense for the negative.

Posted by ek_0

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I'm just saying from what I've heard I'd think that girls would have wanted a guy that would do anything for them, that would stand by them. blah blah blah etc etc etc you get the idea. basically what I wanted to be was exactly what they told me they wanted... And as far as I can tell... It's wrong...

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It is. If girls wanted that type of guy and didn't care about anything else, more girls would be with someone. Thing is, girls want other things, while not caring about others. They'll often tell you exactly what they want when they don't know what the hell they want at all. I mean, some girls have a pretty good idea, but generally it isn't limited to what you said above.

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Well either way it's just weird that my being nice to people gets me pushed to the side and hated and I watch as other guys are just dicks to people and all I hear is how great they are. How much people think they are awesome. How much they want to be with them... I'm gonna be honest when I talk to people I feel like I am just wasting there time... That could be me reading people wrong but then again I would have no idea.

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It's quite sad that this is true in many cases in relationships these days. They chose strife, so do you even want a girl like that in your life anyway?

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Oh and like 90% of the people I talk to are girls and 100% are either not interested in me/In a relationship/In another continent. So nothing really works...

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So move on. Find a different group of friends. Tell them the truth; "I'm looking for a relationship, and I'm not going to find them around you". The more exposure to new people you have, the more chances you have. I'm convinced of this, despite not having found someone to be in a relationship with myself.

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I guess the specific scenario I posted hit me harder though because it was the first time anyone has EVER told me that... And you gotta admit... It seems like a hell to go through for a first love... Some people have cute stories about that sort of stuff... Now I have a story how my heart got ripped out... twice... and that will never change I can't forget this and I don't know what's worse... That I won't forget... or that SHE will... She has "loved" before so I meant practically nothing to her looking back on it and now all that will happen is that I will just fade away in her memory... While I am tortured to have these moments scarred into my mind. First love isn't forgotten...

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I have a really shitty "first love" story too. Having been away from that situation for more than a year and a half, I can look back and say that I have learned a TON of stuff. I'm not going to tell you it doesn't hurt. It does. But I WILL tell you that it DOES get better. Maybe she isn't interested in you; but that means you have the ability to scout the market again to possibly find someone even better than your crush.

I cannot stress this enough:
Look Forward. Act Forward.