I don't know what I should say, and it's kinda hard to explain this, but...

I've always behaved a bit irrationally. I was overly clingy whenever I made friends (which was rare by itself) and I would basically follow them and watch their every step. And if at a certain minute of time they didn't interact with me but decided to hang out with other people, I started to feel abandoned and hate them.

I'm also so sensitive and it's extremely easy to "break" me, or so to say. If you do or say something, I'm highly likely to interpret it in a way that makes me feel offended, so I get all angry. Usually, I'll go cry for a while and then explain how I understood it and everything resolves itself.

I'm amazed Gywall has managed to deal with me for such a long time since I've exploded at her more than a few times. It was really hard at first to deal with being alone, because I felt abandoned every time. I'm learning to cope a bit better with it, but, you know, you never truly get rid of it.

Now, I'm suffering from violent mood swings that make me either exceptionally happy or clinically depressed, simply by certain minor actions that seem to hit me hard. I know Gywall likes to make jokes about it but I'm actually suffering from it and there are days where I feel awful and just want to die. (Yesterday was one such day, if the KCS title was of any indication. Yes, I suffer from self-hate as well in such situations.)

I only realized I might be borderline after I met another person on the Internet who is, because we share so many of the symptoms. And that made me think about it. My symptoms seem to be getting worse and I do think I really need treatment because I don't think I'll be able to deal with it by myself. I couldn't finish school because I started crying during class and randomly hating people for reasons they could never understand. If I were to get a job, either I'd quit after getting offended by someone (well, "offended"), or I'd start hating everyone and get fired.

Sigh, I really need a good therapist to work with me, but it's so haaaard... :<