Name: Nova Storm the Squirrel
Species: Squirrel
Gender: Dickgirl
Age: 16
Height: 5'10"
Personality: Exactly the same hir player's
Powers: None, though quite often hir milk (or a certain other fluid) is altered to sparkle and cause some transformation effect on the person who drinks it, if that counts as a power.

Nova is a neon green squirrel with angel wings. Shi has blue eyes.

Shi is a princess and shi rules over Nova Forest of IRCWorld

JON MAHON CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
--------------------------------------------------
HE'S MAKING A LIST
AND CHECKING IT 9001 times
GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY (in bed) AND NICE
JON MAHON IS COMING TO TOWN
He sees you when you're SHOWERING!!!! OH MY GOD
He knows when you're awake
HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY (in bed) OR GOOD
SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!

JON MAHON was impersonating santa AND DOING A BAD JOB OF IT. (he did grow a pretty epic beard for it though)
he took his 9001 detentions he had gotten over the years and CROSSED OFF HIS NAME
and wrote OTHER PEOPLES' NAMES ON THEM. (illegal) and for the detention location
he wrote in the address of some party place nobody knew about (not even him)

he was passing them out during lunch the next day with his friend SID SPACE
in a santa outfit and said "crap......... LETS BE SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!" (nobody heard)
so nobody knew it was him
even though
on the detention
you could still read the crossed out JON MAHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the detention reasons were things jon was well known for! (farting in class)

also the date on the detentions was December 25th (nobody noticed this either maybe they're dumb I DON'T KNOW)
everyone was all BUMMED OUT that they couldn't attend their christmas parties (NOT NOTICING that everyone in the parties had detentions too,
so there wouldn't really be any party because there'd be nobody there because AUGH I don't know..............)

so on december 25th everyone brought their party stuff to the detention!!!!
AND DROVE TO THE MYSTERIOUS PLACE LISTED ON THE DETENTIONS
wait a second if there's TONS OF KIDS in one place AND THEY HAVE PARTY STUFF
THEN IT'S NOT A DETENTION AT ALL!!!!!!
THAT WAS!??????!??????????? A PARTY INVITATION!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
darn you jon AUGH
........ !??????????

then, when EVERYONE was inside
A GIANT CALIFORNIA REDWOOD TREE CRACKED A VIOLNET SNOWSORM AND FELL AS IF HINGED
BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE AND SNOWING EVERYONE IN AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!????????!?!??!?
but hey it made a nice 30,60,90 right triangle

CRAP!!!!!!!!! so the people INSIDE THE PARTY PLACE
were STUCK INSIDE for the time being!!!!!!!!!!!! D:

so HERE I WILL ESTABLISH A PARTIAL LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WENT TO THE PARTY
celebrities: Barack Obama (with his awesome t-shirt), Osama bin Laden, Vegeta, Hitler, Anne Frank, (oops) Anne Frankenstein
classmates: Josh, Jared, Sid Space, Karson, DANNY, Tyler, Alex (both Nuclear and Irritable Alexes), d-love/2kdre
and the obligatory list of similarly named people: Billy Mays, Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Bill Cosby, Bill Gosper
(the first three bills make up the BILLY ALLIANCE)

SO THE PEOPLE NOW HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO DO IN THE AWESOME PARTY HOUSE UNTIL SOMEONE HELPS............
(or just enjoy the party)

d-love got a DISCO BALL AND SET IT UP
ACTUALLY 99999 disco balls
BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD LASERS AND WERE EVIL
and was DJing and rapping and stuff
d-love: "YO YO YO jon mahon YO"
d-love: "gotta eat the toast"
d-love: "'cause its christmas time OKAY?????????????????"

SO JON MAHON GOT OUT a giant candycane
and used it AS A SWORD
TO FIGHT OFF THE DISCO BALLS
but wasn't getting very much progress

Jared: "ME NO LIKE DISCO BALLS"
and Jared left! (somehow)

BUT THE DISCO BALLS WERE STILL ATTACKING
until suddenly VEGETA WAS LIKE "KAMEHAMEHA!!"
and blew up the disco balls with a huge energy blast
that somehow did not damage the building or any guests

So THE BILLY ALLIANCE GROUPED TOGETHER
AND DECIDED TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE WALL TO GET OUT.
SO WERE BRAINSTORMING together until JON MAHON SUDDENLY FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOSE FART BLEW everyone into "THE NIGHT BEFORE JON MAHON"

'Twas NOT the night before JON MAHON, when all through the SCHOOL
Not a creature was FARTING, not even uh Jared! LOLOOLOLLOLOLOLO;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that JON MAHON SOON WOULD BE THERE;
...but then suddenly a bee flew in and it stung someone who died and then they SUED IT FOR MURDER
LANDING THEM BACK IN UHHHHH THE JON MAHON PARTY HOUSE
BECAUSE THE JUDGE FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so they were back at the party house
and suddenly Wendy from the restaurant named Wendy's came over
and uh well
SHE worked with IRRITABLE ALEX
to create FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN
WHO WAS ALMOST THE SAME AS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
EXCEPT HE ACTUALLY WAS A FROSTY AND also simultaneously product placement
also he was evil and he throw snowballs at people

BARACK OBAMA WAS WATCHING POKEMON IN THE CORNER
and turned into BROCK OBAMA (like in obamastory)
and d-love started DJing some rock music
which caused obama to then change into BROCKSTAR OBAMA

AND SUDDENLY PLAYED SOME REALLY RAD TUNES
and he chased after FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN
but Jon Mahon handed a super cool electric guitar to Brockstar Obama
who accidentally made frosty the frostyman explode WITH DA POWER OF MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!1

JARED WAS SOMEHOW BACK
and then there was rebecca whose last name was BLACK
oops I mean there was REBECCA BLACK WHO WAS SINGING "FRIDAY" ENDLESSLY
and JACK BLACK
Hitler: "what does the scouter say about her annoyingness level"
Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!"

and jack black who was obsessed with octagons
drew an octagon
Jack: "WE FOUND AN OCTAGON!!!!!!!!!"
BUT IT WAS A MAGIC ORANGE OCTAGON
AND WAS ACTUALLY A PORTAL
so everyone went in thinking it was a way out of the party place
but it actually just led to ANOTHER MAGIC OCTAGON that was BLUE
!!!!!
except it was always friday
Jared: "ME NO LIKE FRIDAY"
so they went back in
and it was always NOT friday
so rebecca black shut up finally

so JACK BLACK TRIED TO SING FRIDAY (in a really heavy russian accent)
BUT THERE WAS A CHARACTER NAMED SLIPPERY SOAP FROM BLUES CLUES
WHO WAS MAKING A SLIPPERY MESS
but he slipped and fell on an octagon before he could finish
poor jack

Jon Mahon did not actually have a real christmas tree
so he took a fake robot one
and put it up
Sid Space: "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A FAKE CHRISTMAS!???????"
Jon Mahon: "sure"
Sid Space: "WHAT!"
Jon Mahon: "WHATS THE MATTER DO YOU NOT LIKE YOUR FAKE CHRISTMAS!????"
Hitler: "NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!"

but the fake robot tree came with a fake robot santa
who was evil
but Karson kicked its butt
because he's goot at kicking robots' butts

so the BILLY ALLIANCE got together with nuclear alex (who knew about radioactive stuff)
and josh had some uranium in his pocket.
and the billy alliance decided they would make a machine that harnessed the power of jon mahon's illegal nuclear farts
to blast a hole in the party house and get out

so the BILLY ALLIANCE with the help of NUCLEAR ALEX
constructed a machine and inserted josh's uranium
and jon mahon was given pizza
and then jon farted
and a GIGANTIC HOLE WAS BLASTED IN THE CEILING
it was pretty impossible to get out through it though
CONSIDERING IT WAS ON THE FREAKING CEILING

for some reason IRONICALLY after the hole was blasted the VIOLNET SORM disappeared and all the snow was gone
(also the tree REVERSE-FELL as if hinged - if that's even POSSIBLE)
completely negating any need for the hole in the first place.
and to make it worse the fart made it super smelly all the way from here to 125 MILES away.

The billy alliance was FINED FOR DAMAGE TO THE PARTY HOUSE because the person DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VIOLNET SORM
and thought the explosion was random and unnecessary
AND THAT WAS ILLEGAL.

so they got out anyway
and nobody cared
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
THIS HAS BEEN A JON MAHON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!

warning this story is probably highly offensive if the word offensive is offensive STOP READING NOW
if you think obama is doing a great job FUCKING STOP READING NOW
IF YOU THINK THE WORD "FUCK" IS OFFENSIVE THEN OOPS I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS

my goal here is to be as random as Haruto and also offend #acmlm
no I did not ask many of the people who got cameos in this if they wanted to be in it or not.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO obama was spending over $9000 every day on burritos to throw at old people but they didn't like it very much in fact they regretted voting for him OH WELL. he was almost impeached but then he gave every old person an OLD PERSON TV that only had the Obama Channel which had speeches and interviews and stuff of Obama 24/7 and that somehow made it okay. the national debt was 999999999999 trillion after just two months as president. the economy was a fucking mess.

so now Obama was sitting at his desk at the FUCKING WHITE HOUSE or something, fucking trying
to order a copy of Bomberman and Billy Mays called him on the phone

Billy:"HI BILLY MAYS HERE I HAVE AN AMAZING OFFER 'I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' TSHIRT ONLY $19.95"
Obama:"shut up billy mays can't you see I'm busy"
Billy:"BUSY WITH WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING UP THE ECONOMY"
Obama:"no I'm not. shut up"
---and then vegeta came on the phone----
Vegeta: "well you spent like over 9000 dollars a day"
Obama: "NO I DIDN'T FUCK YOU"

obama slammed the phone down in rage

and then it rang again
Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR HOMO INSURANCE"
Obama: "stop calling me to sell me homo insurance"
Billy: "YEAH BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE CALLS YOU A HOMO YOU GET A DOLLAR"
Obama: "why would I want that I'm fucking rich how else would I be able to afford THE OBAMA CHANNEL"
Billy: "NO THAT ISN'T YOUR MONEY YOU RETARD! YOU KEEP SPENDING AND NOW WE'RE 999999999999 TRILLION IN DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Vince: "hey buy shamwow"
Billy: "SHUT THE FUCK UP VINCE NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Vince: "WELL AT LEAST I didn't fuck up the ECONOMY"
Billy: "OH RIGHT"
Obama: "SHUT THE FUCK UP i didn't ruin the economy"
Billy: "HEY AS A SPECIAL OFFER I'LL GIVE YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY SHIRT' ABSOLUTELY FREE"
Obama: "oh hey FREE STUFF i'll take it ship it to my house immediately"
Billy: "OH OKAY MR PRESIDENT HMMMMMMMMMMMM"

so the special tshirt got shipped to the whitehouse in a box with PONIES ON IT
Obama: "OH BOY OH BOY ITS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he opens it and pulls out the tshirt and it was actually the original "I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY" shirt
AND IT GLOWED IN THE DARK. and he PUT THE SHIRT ON without actually taking the other one off.

Obama: "OH FUCK ITS TIME TO WATCH POKEYMANS"
so he turned on the TV
AND HE TURNED INTO "BROCK OBAMA"

Obama: "wtf I'm a pokemon gym leader"
except he didn't actually have any pokemon he just looked like brock from pokemon
AND THEN MISTY SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR
Obama: "oh fuck you"
and then obama was "BaROCKET Obomba" and no longer looked like brock
NOW HE LOOKED LIKE EITHER A TERRORIST OR A ROBOT OR EVEN A TERRORIST ROBOT
i can't decide which
AND HE BLEW STUFF UP WITH MISSILES AND BOMBS

Obama: "oh oops SORRY MISTY DIDN'T MEAN TO BLOW YOU UP"
and then obama ate healthy snacks and was "BAROCCOLI OBAMA"
and he BLEW THE FUCKING NATIONAL DEBT EVEN HIGHER BY BUYING WAY TOO MUCH BROCCOLI.

and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Obama: "WTF BUSH YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THAT also you aren't kool aid man"
and then he was barocket obama and blew up more stuff
Obama: "...fuck"
and then bush was kool aid man and busted through another wall
Obama: "OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"
and then Obama was normal obama

and then BILLY MAYS BUSTED THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL
Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE BUY KOOL AID OH YEAH"
Obama: "oh shut the fuck up billy. bush was already kool aid man"
Billy: "THEN MAYBE I COULD be the KOOL AIDS MAN THAT WOULD BE SORT OF DIFFERENT"
Billy: "ALSO WE DIDN'T SEND YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' SHIRT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO SEND YOU"
Obama: "oh fuck I didn't notice"
and then obama took off the shirt

but the next time pokemon was on NOTHING HAPPENED
the next time he ate healthy NOTHING HAPPENED
the next time someone random showed up NOTHING HAPPENED

SO BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY SHOWED UP AND WAS ALL "obama that shirt made you shift between barack and brock and barocket and baroccoli"
Obama: "Oh FINE GEEZ"
and obama put the shirt back on

then Obama went to a rock concert and became BAROCKSTAR OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obama: "OH FUCK"
and then obama did a guitar solo
AN EPIC GUITAR SOLO
A VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO
A VERY VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO
okay stop it with the stupid stuff
sorry

ANYWAY BAROCKSTAR OBAMA WAS VERY FAMOUS
and then pokemon came on
AND HE WAS somehow BROCKSTAR OBAMA and somehow did pokemon themed guitar solos
it was very illegal

AND THEN OBAMA GOT ARRESTED
and there were CDi characters there
and mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA DIS IS ILLEGAL YU NO"
and then there was lots of toast (blame NovaBot)
Fat Mario: "OH FUCK TOO MANY TOASTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS"
and then obama was barocket obomba
AND BLEW UP A WALL
AND SNUCK OUT
and nobody noticed it

well actually someone did notice it
mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL"
but obama didn't care

ALSO OBAMA COLLECTED $200 WHICH HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO
and then became baroccoli obama and spent it on healthy foods
AND THEN HE PASSED GO
which was illegal

OH FUCK WE AREN'T PLAYING MONOPOLY

...

OH YES WE ARE
OBAMA BUILT HIS FUCKING MANSION ON BOARDWALK
with lasers and FUCKING DORITOS DISPENSERS
actually no the doritos shot lasers



obama gets in his OBAMA MOBILE
and drives to BOARDWALK MANSION

AND THE FUCKING BILLYBOB GUY WAS THERE
Obama: "get off my fucking house"
bob: "oh okay"


AND THEN HE DROVE TO # AND the topic was Persistence in bad habits
BUT THEN OBAMA SET THE TOPIC TO "farte butte"
AND GOT KICKED OUT BY A PONY OOPS I MEAN BRONY
HIS NAME STARTED WITH A "K"

and then obama drove to the store (SAW POKEMON ON THE TVs, WAS BROCK OBAMA)
and bought some nerf guns and infinite pizza rolls with his credit card
<Kawa> And I got my card so money's not an issue.
<NovaYoshi> it's a credit card except it adds to the national debt of the united states
<NovaYoshi> obama has 5
<Kawa> Stop that
<NovaYoshi> :<
and then crafted PIZZA ROLL GUN.


but just then RICK ASTLEY ATTACKED THE CITY WITH PAPER DOLL MAN
Onix: WOAH ONIX GO
Onix: onix onix
Obama: ONIX USE THUNDERBOLT
wtf he doesn't have that move
actually didn't I mention earlier that brock obama didn't actually have any pokemon?

PAPER DOLL MAN USED HIS SOLAR RAY GUN
AND MADE A PRINTER COME ALIVE
and then it printed off furry porn
OH OOPS............................................
............................oh sweet that's hot

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

ANYWAY, THERE WAS BLOOD AND SPERM EVERYWHERE
HE JUST KEPT SAYING, "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"

so obama EQUIPPED HIS PIZZA ROLL GUN and shot at rick astley
BUT THAT FAILED BECAUSE HE JUST ATE THE PIZZA ROLLS
aaaaaaa
AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THERE WAS THAT FUCKING JON MAHON CYBORG FROM MY LAST STORY
he shot a laser rocket from his nipple and blew up a building
but then RICK ASTLEY GOT SCARED OF EITHER JON MAHON OR PAPER DOLL MAN AND HID
so Paper Doll Man slipped quietly through the crack in the door to Rick's house
and stole over 9000 copies of NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP (also there was PLAN X in the house)
and then later JON MAHON FOUND OUT AND TOLD RICK ASTLEY
and rick was absolutely furious and went after paper doll man but he kept slipping through door cracks
and could never catch him
or even find him now because he turned into a paper airplane and flew away
but rick didn't know that
so he gave up

ANYWAY RICK AND JON MAHON LEFT THE CITY BECAUSE THEY GOT BORED

Obama: "I WON :3"
no you did not

and then on the moon a paper airplane showed up at the house of some moon bunny
named Inaba and then turned out to be PAPER DOLL MAN. although plan X was at rick astley's
house, plan XXX was at Inaba's, which Paper Doll Man also wanted for some reason.
It had a detailed plan for what would happen if he ever arrived at a certain yoshifox's house.

so Paper doll man stole plan XXX and flew off but Inaba followed him in a spaceship over to a
certain house, ON EARTH. Inaba looked around in the house but could not find the paper doll man
anywhere...
...but sitting on the couch was a certain yoshifox.

;3

meanwhile Osama bin Laden had just blown up some guy's house and they were chasing after him
but he went to the moon and nobody could find him because he was on the moon. The guy then
went to NASA and asked for a spaceship but it costed too much and then later Osama blew up
the moon and that was illegal but he never got arrested because nobody could find him because
he was hiding on the moon. HOWEVER he remembered he blew it up and went to Mars instead and
built a secret base with Martian technology.

Inaba learned of this and noticed that Paper Doll Man had saved his life, causing him to become
very obsessed with paper doll man.

well fuck

well Bomberman finally got delivered but Obama did not see the possible name pun
and he became
Barack Obomberman

...

oops then someone random showed up at the door and he was BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN


which was kind of illegal but not enough for people to care

SO THEN LATER OBAMA DROVE TO PIZZA HUT AND GOT A PIZZA
AND WROTE "FROM #BOTPLACE" ON IT AND DROVE 125 MILES TO GIVE IT TO
A LOUPDRAKE IN TEXAS who was with jon mahon and an opposum
who did not care because said loupdrake hated Obama
BUT GAVE OBAMA THE "Big City Detergent Ball" which must be
a super powered version of the Oxiclean Detergent Ball, right?
no

IT GOT SHIT ALL OVER HIS CLOTHES
OH SHIT

anyway normal jon mahon was there and he saw obama's awesome tshirt
and got one for his own so he could do cool transformations but the author
can't think of any good puns on Jon's name other than "JON MORON" and that's
not very cool - well, maybe he could be SHAH JAHAN (didn't the author confuse
the two once in 7th grade I think they did) but that was stupid

so obama drove away from the loupdrake's house and tried to drive to Billy Mays's house
but there was a fucking BILLY MAZE blocking it (obama's too dumb to get through the maze)
so he went somewhere else back to his fuckin doritos laser house

so then obama saw a guy's house getting lifted away into microsoft's anti-piracy department
with a gigantic crane with a metal claw on the end because he downloaded windows 7
but he was playing fucking megazeux games
so in his next speech he mentioned megazeux and talked about the guy who he called Guy
<NovaYoshi> get Obama to talk about MZX
<Guy> that would be horrible
<Guy> oh, god
<Guy> all reporters investigating me
and then reporters investigated Guy and asked him questions in lots of interviews



so he drove back to # and the BRONY WHOSE NAME STARTED WITH K was high and he was married to a
guy named juana really it was kind of disgusting.
GET IT?????????? MARRIED JUANA -> MARIJUANA.
?!!?!???!??? anyway he changed his name to KARL MARX because for lunch everyday he ate communism
how he did it was he took a toaster-strudel and drew a hammer and sicle on it.

and then a DIFFERENT brony whose name started with K who was not high nuked a country
because they embedded Friday in their national anthem
<Kawa> Requesting a layout nuke on Perfect Infinity
<Kawa> For embedding a hidden autoplaying Youtube of "Friday".
<Kawa> In his signature.
and that was illegal so he went to jail

ANYWAY KAWA had a phone and he saw the number 1101227 (phone thought it was a number)
and touched it accidentally
Kawa: oh fuck did not mean to do that
and IT CALLED OBAMA SO THEY GOT INTO A CONVERSATION

Kawa: Okay who is this
Obama: THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES YOU DOPE
Kawa: i am in europe
Obama: GOING TO SEND YOU FIVE DOLLARS
Kawa: what that's not my currency wtf
so then obama hung up

wtf

so then OBAMA DROVE TO CANADA
and then he forced some poor guy named tubular into his car
BUT AFTER THAT he drove 125 miles to nova's house
and he dropped tubular off
and JUST FUCKING DROVE AWAY

some very naughty things went on in that house

and then obama drove to PEN ISLAND where everything was shaped like pens
like seriously there were no coconuts the pens grew on trees
so OBAMA MOVED "IS" over to be part of "PEN" and it was kind of inappropriate after that
fucking penis grew on trees man
FUCKING PENIS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so Obama went back home to the whitehouse and was going to take a nap in the oval office
but then Hitler busted into the room after years of everybody thinking he's dead, and he
was like, "IIIIIIIIII'M BACK!" and tore off his shirt, revealing gigantic pecs because he's
been working out while hiding, and he starts beating the fuckin' shit out of everybody,
starting with the French government.

it was pretty stupid, and eventually Goku found him and decided to battle.
BUT THIS CAUSED HITLER TO GO FUCKING "ARYAN RAGE" MODE WITH BLOND+SPIKY HAIR and BLUE EYES.
and they were trying to shoot at eachother with kamehamehas and stuff and hit lots of buildings

so obama played bomberman and went BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN
and found them and tried throwing bombs at them to get them to stop but he had a terrible aim
and that only blew up more buildings

fuck

so then Vegeta showed up and fucked shit up.
but obama went home because he just didn't care


well Nova somehow got power in Karl Marx's FUCKING HOUSE and well...
* tubular removes ban on huge_boner!*@*
* tubular removes ban on thick_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on /ban!*@*
* tubular removes ban on osama_bin_laden's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on glenn_beck's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on obama's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on action_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on cunt!*@*
* tubular removes ban on fuck!*@*
* tubular removes ban on moldy.cheese!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Bill_Nye's_cock!*@*
* tubular removes ban on long_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on thick_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on astronauts.without.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on astronauts.with.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on this.that.space.penises.are.not.in!*@*
* tubular removes ban on things.that.are.not.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on space_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on erect_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on okay_fine_asshole!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Nova_that_isn't_funny!*@*
* tubular removes ban on more_unnecessary_bans!*@*
* tubular removes ban on I_found_waldo!*@*
* tubular removes ban on find_waldo!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Nova_stop_that!*@*
* tubular removes ban on unnecessary_ban!*@*
* tubular removes ban on power_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on old_person_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on big_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on hairy_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on robot_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on child_penises!*@* <-- keeps Mare out
* tubular removes ban on medium_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on small_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on huge_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*
* tubular sets ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*
* tubular sets ban on bttest*!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *penis*!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *waldo!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *ban!*@*
but that COMPLETELY RUINS EVERYTHING
THE WHOLE POINT WAS HAVING TONS OF PENIS STUFF IN THE BAN LIST
I MEAN GEEZ


so Obama drove to Microsoft's anti-piracy department to rescue Guy
and there were armed ninjas blocking the way
but he just sniffed their armpits and they weren't armed ninjas anymore
they were armpit ninjas

SO THEY ATTACKED WITH ARMPIT FART NOISES
which didn't put up any challenge at all and Obama just drove on through
to the room with Guy in it
and he took Guy and put him in his car
AND GUY DREW AN AVATAR FOR OBAMA THAT WAS 40 PIXELS WIDE AND 56 PIXELS TALL
IN TWO COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

obama thanked him and dropped him off at mcdonalds

WHERE BILLY MAYS WAS SHOWING OFF HIS BIG CITY SLIDER STATION
MAKING OVER 9000 BURGERS FOR EVERYONE
vegeta was there and ate 3
BUT HE ALSO SOLD TONS OF PRODUCTS LIKE THE "WHAT CHILDREN? ELIMINATOR"
and the restrooms were replaced with the BIG CITY TOILET
that you could plug in anywhere to shit in
guy ate like 2 burgers

obama drove to UNITINU
where everything was a palindrome
and where people drove racecars and there were guys named otto
and the national animal was the TACO CAT.
and his shirt caused him to become OBABO ( http://imgur.com/gallery/QkQmz )
where there was also OSASO ( http://i.imgur.com/AykPy.jpg )
and then obabo went and saw there was a presidential election coming up
the other canidate was amama and looked pretty fucking weird
so obabo ran for president in unitinu and won because the other canidate
looked fucking weird I mean it's like obabo except using the other half
of the name mirrored.

THE HIT TV SHOW IN UNITINU WAS NAMED "cailliou tlt ouilliac" and
it was about a mirror imaged bald kid who made pizzas.
BUT THE COUNTRY WAS AT WAR WITH MEXIOIXEM
so obabo left (and became obama again)
and OSASO fucking took over
and unitinu blew up countries
especially fucking MEXIOIXEM
and cailliou became racist and eventually became "pinkie pie tlt oulliac"
and that was the new hit show

well OSASO teamed up with super saiyan hitler and goku
and they were an unstoppable team

SO OBAMA GOT CYBORG JON MAHON ON HIS TEAM
WHO WAS (according to the Jon Mahon Chronicles) EVEN MORE UNSTOPPABLE
he shot missiles out of his nipples and blew up buildings
but never actually hit hitler or goku or osaso

anne frank was hiding in one of the buildings so she jumped out right in time
and hitler and goku saw her
hitler wanted to get rid of her because she was a jew
but goku FELL IN LOVE WITH ANNE FRANK
and hitler and goku went off to fight somewhere
leaving osaso vs CYBORG JON MAHON and obama
(but it doesn't really matter since obama is a dumbass)
so osaso ran away

well everyone was fucking pissed with Obama
FUCKING DRIVING EVERYWHERE
instead of actually doing actual president things...
and impeached him
( that means he ate a peach )
and jon mahon became president
who was a very bad president and made farting illegal
and he also got impeached

---

OBAMASTORY 2

A SEQUEL TO OBAMASTORY
The goal here is to be random with no or little plot,
but I keep accidentally inserting a hint of plot
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
after Jon Mahon was impeached for making farting illegal
there were two major canidates:
RONALD MC.DONALD
and THE BURGER KING
with each person's campaign being paid for by the fast food restauraunt they
are associated with. (obviously)
nobody thought of bribing anyone though
because that wasn't what they did, yo

Ronald McDonald was mostly concerned with serving billions
but the Burger King just wanted to do things his way

Bill Gates called Kool Aid Man on THE PHONE
Bill: "Hi is this the kool aid man"
Kool Aid Man: "OH YEAAAAAAAAAAH oh sorry - yes it is sorry"
Bill: "I think you should run for president"
Kool Aid Man: "wait you really think I should"
Bill: "SURE! I'll sponsor you"

so kool aid man got tons of money from bill gates
and decided to run as a 3rd canidate ;3
unlike the other two canidates his political platform was "KOOL AID FOR EVERYONE"
and everyone liked kool aid a lot more than that other stuff
because kool aid is delicious YO
( and he had excellent advertising )

well everyone voted for kool aid man
even people who weren't old enough to vote
and he was elected for president

so Kool Aid Man called a government guy
Kool Aid Man: "Hey I think all the drinking fountains should have kool aid"
government guy: "okay you got it mr president"
and then he hung up
AND THEN ALL DRINKING FOUNTAINS HAD KOOL AID
which was kind of cool ( or should I say kool ;3 )
and congress had to say "OH YEAH" a lot more
(Kool Aid mix was also poured into George the Volcano and he wasn't happy about that)

and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kool Aid Man: "HEY THATS MY LINE YOU STUPID"
Bush: "plus I already did this early on in the previous story"
so Kool Aid Man sent Bush to jail for breaking the 4th wall

where he saw Kawa and the CDi characters.
Kawa: "oh hey it's george bush"
Bush: "HIIIIIIIIIIII KAWA" =^___^=
Kawa PINNED BUSH TO THE WALL, "HEY. YOU GET US OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW"
Bush: "please don't hurt me"
this time the walls were OH YEAAAAAAAAAH proof
so they couldn't get out that way
Kawa let go of Bush and Ganon told the ceiling that IT MUST DIE
so a chunk in the ceiling was knocked out leaving a hole
and Kawa FUCKING pushed Gwonam off his flying carpet and rode out of it out of the hole.
Gwonam: "HEY THATS MY CARPET"
Kawa: "lol don't care"
so he flew away
and Gwonam got so pissed off that he turned Kawa into a pony
( he didn't know Kawa would actually like this )
so Kawa fell off the magic carpet but somehow landed safely
AND THERE WAS CHEERILEE!!!!!!!!!!!
umm, and then something happened!
<Kiyoshi> Your next story should contain more ponies
<Kiyoshi> And Kawa becoming a pony
<Kiyoshi> And sticking his giant horse dick into Cheerilee's pooper
--- we'll get back to Kawa later ---

a dolphin named Natalie was doing her SAT essay
a burglar broken in
<GreyMaria> I got fucking robbed on my SAT essay
and stole stuff
AND THEN KOOL AID FLOODED THE CLASSROOM and the essay was ruined
the burglar drowned though and the essay was ruined
but it was good for Natalie because SHE WAS A GOOD SWIMMER BECAUSE SHE'S A DOLPHIN
so she got an A+ anyway
anyway some fuckhead opened the class door and it poured out into the hallway and
THEN IT FLOODED THE HALLS.

OH SHIT
----------------------------
Ronald McDonald went back to mcdonalds
Ronald: "hey Guy haven't you been here a bit too long"
Vegeta: "HE'S BEEN HERE OVER 9000 DAYS"
Ronald: "shut up nobody asked you"
and then suddenly mcdonalds needed foundation repair
SO RONALD MCDONALD CALLED HOH SIS
and the joj people showed up
except one of the people had bunny ea- WAIT IS THAT INABA
no it's actually DOCTOR RABBIT, that purple dentist bunny
who heavily endorsed colgate toothpaste.
anyway they repaired the foundation (with lots of dental floss)
joj person: "we did whatever it took to get the joj done"

Kyurel (KARL MARX) had broken up with juana by then and was now dating
the WEED GOD HIMSELF. (he was much cooler)
he could take infinite hits and they were both always high 24/7.
Kyurel: "hey can I have a weed burger"
Ronald: "sorry we don't have those"
but BILLY MAYS was listening
Billy: "SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED THE BIG CITY DRUG STATION"
so Kyurel bought one.
WHICH WAS COMPLETELY POINTLESS since the WEED GOD could make people
high whenever he wanted so it wasn't needed but only for weed.
the big city drug station had weed AND cocaine mushrooms extacy and other drugs
which was kind of useful I guess
unlimited drugs whenever you need them FOR LIFE
----------------------------
BOMB BUILDINGS PLANES BOMBS HIJACK HIJACK BOMBS OSAMA BIN LADEN TERRORIST WHITE HOUSE
----------------------------
(back to Natalie's school)
* GreyMaria has an escape clause
and then suddenly an EVIL SANTA CLAUS ROBOT STARTED CHASING AFTER NATALIE
( Get it? Escape from Santa Claus? )
Santa: "What would you like for christmas young girl"
Natalie: "I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME THE _FUCK_ ALONE"
Santa: "sorry can't do that"
Natalie: "well can you get nova to leave me alone"
Santa: "NO SHUT UP PLZ"
so Natalie ran out of the school and went to hide in mcdonalds
----------------------------
Kyurel recognized her and waved, "OH HI NATALIE"
Natalie: "there's this evil santa robot after me and he's like worse than nova"
Natalie: "Nova would just hug me and walk away"
Natalie: "but this guy won't give up"
Kyurel: "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"
Kyurel: "well then let him get you something for christmas maybe he'll go away"
Natalie: "BUT THAT COULD BE ANYTHING"
Kyurel: "okay ask him for weed"
Natalie: "I'm not the weed-obsessed one okay"
Kyurel: "no, then you'd give it to ME"
Natalie: "what the FUCK can't your husband get you some I mean he *is* the weed god"
Kyurel: "oh right"
-----and back to the jail kawa broke out of-----
Bush was upset to be in jail
all they served for food was CHICK P SAC YO
which was disgusting because it was chicken shoved inside a PBJ with
salad on it and yogurt!

so he puked from how bad it was and said "GOD I'M NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE"
and suddenly a tornado picked him up and sent him to kansas
and he got in a wrestling match with dorothy and the wicked witch
the tin man kicked his ass though

-----okay back to kawa--------
*time had passed to conveniently skip the yiff scene*
so Kawa ended up at ponyville or something with cheerilee
and there was fluttershy who was too shy to do anything

but suddenly fluttershy was like "YOU'RE GOING TO (make love to) ME!!!!"
and then she pounced Kawa and snuggled (maybe naughtily?)
and that was kind of illegal but Kawa didn't complain
(who would?) ;3
and the santa claus robot ran by
but someone peed on it and it rusted and died

and obama was ponified somehow and ran for mayor (his cutie mark was the obama logo)
but the ponies didn't know any better and elected him

and he loved ponyville and friendship
but he got equestria $999999999999999999999 in debts somehow

and Kawa was so fucking pissed off because Nova talks about Obama too much
and this meant he had to hear about obama EVEN MORE

and there was a sign that said:
"OBAMAMEME! It is fun with IE5: scripting I had indecision is painful, where you got it from localhost... hmmm..."

but that made no sense whatsoever and was illegal
so it was taken down
and replaced with a sign that said "jon mahon for president 2017 MAKE FARTS ILLEGAL"

well Kiyoshi drove 125 miles to ponyville
and he walked up to fluttershy
who was.... busy with Kawa
but he pushed her off Kawa and hugged her :3
Fluttershy: "oh dear it's that kiyoshi guy"
Kiyoshi: "yeah"

and then a kid named MolSno appeared at Rainbow Dash's house
wearing a speedo
eating a burrito (and Doritos BUT WE DON'T DISCUSS THOSE)

and Rainbow Dash saw that burrito
and asked for it
so MolSno gave her the burrito

and she tackled MolSno
and something happened in that house!

----------------- BACK TO KOOL AID MAN'S PRESIDENCY ----------
he went OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
oh yeah oops

then a guy named Custer called him on the phone
Kool Aid Man: "HELLO THIS IS THE KOOL AID MAN"
Custer: "i want revenge yo"
Kool Aid Man: "HEY I PLAYED YOUR VIDEOGAME FOR ATARI 2600 IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME"
Custer: "yeah and I played yours yo IT FUCKING SUCKED"
Kool Aid Man: "oh YEAH well Custer's Revenge wasn't that cool either" >
Custer: "YOU JUST SAID YOU LIKED IT"
Kool Aid Man: "WELL... *YOU* are on The Pill"
Custer: "no lol its impossible"
so custer went to jail

but he raped native american women there
and got kicked out

and sent to ET's house as an alternative
and he wasn't allowed to leave until he beat ET for Atari 2600
meanwhile ET was phoning home and talking to custer's parents about his behavior
they were very disappointed in him

<NightKev> >"If there are extra-terrestrial intelligent beings at all, it is safe to assume that most of them are sinners too," Weidemann said. "If so, did Jesus save them too? My position is no. If so, our position among intelligent beings in the universe would be very exceptional."

this meant ET was going to hell!

so they were disappointed in ET too
-------------------------

Kool Aid Man was walking on the street and Jon Mahon was on the front lawn of the white house
Kool Aid Man: "JON MAHON GET OFF MY LAWN"
Jon Mahon: "lol come make me"
so then jon fondled a garden gnome
Kool Aid Man: "HEY JON WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE LAWN ORNAMENTS"
so jon picked it up and started running off
and kool aid man chased after him

...right into a nuke factory, where a radioactive coyote celebrity named Ezno worked.
He absolutely HATED his job so he was a special kind of hooker where if you did his
job for him he would repay you with yiff.

kool aid man was chasing jon mahon all over the place
Ezno: "woah woah woah wtf you guys get outta here"
Jon Mahon: "lol no"
so Ezno started running after Jon too

and then Barocket Obama bashed thrugh the wall and shot out a missile which blew up a nuke
and then there was a nuclear explosion
but a tiny one
Ezno: "OH FUCK EVERYONE OUT NOW"
so they got out
and nobody was harmed
except kool aid man who mutated into kool AIDS man
and nobody wanted that
so he was impeached!

----------------------------------
so it was back to the presidential elections!

now it was Ronald McDonald vs Barack Obama vs the Burger King

Barack Obama stood for:
<Distrcat> also: inb4 obama becomes a brony, and bronifies congress. then,
usa will become equestria. the constitution will be trashed, and rewritten
in accordance with tolerance and friendship

the Burger King however was getting financed by both Bill Gates *AND* Fortran
and he was running alongside his wife the Dairy Queen

every single person in america voted for the burger king
and to celebrate he had free whoppers for everyone

every mcdonalds went out of business and was replaced with a burger king,
so Vegeta and Kyurel and Weed God and Guy and Natalie and the others were at
a Burger King now, which also meant they had to hire stag019 immediately
( they also fired ronald mcdonald and he went on adventures with the touhou girls )
except he actually had weed so he was able to make Kyurel and the Weed God
the Weed Burger they wanted.

so they left!
and went back to their Farting-Underneath-Crazy-Kanadians-In-New-Germany house
( yes tubular is still there )
leaving Vegeta and Guy and Natalie together
( wait wasn't there billy mays too )
Okay Vegeta and Guy and Natalie and Billy Mays.

Guy went on DigitalMZX and commented on one of Lachesis's things
she emailed him a bag of pizza rolls
so he ate them and emailed her back the EMPTY BAG OF PIZZA ROLLS

----------------------------------
so the king of hyrule found out about burger king being president
and he shit his pants
except he forgot he wasn't wearing pants
and a guy was all "WTF YOU CAN'T TAKE A DUMP *HERE*"
so he went to jail
( the lack of pants was legal though )

Burger King got a call from the King of Hyrule.
King of Hyrule: "oh hi"
Burger King: "hi"
King of Hyrule: "calling you from jail because apparently all the cdi characters are there"
Burger King: "hey did you hear kawa got out"
King of Hyrule: "yeah why was he even in there"
Burger King: "ITS FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY"
King of Hyrule: "OH FUCK STOP THAT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL NUKE YOU"
Burger King: "Yeah that's what he did"
Burger King: "a country had Friday in its national anthem and he NUKED EM"
King of Hyrule: "how did he even get access to nukes"
Burger King: "dunno lol"
and he got off the phone with the king of hyrule
and declared war on nikoboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so nikoboard sent Velma from Scooby Doo to the White House.

she attacked by throwing her glasses at people like a boomerang
and they were super dangerous
and then going "JINKIES! I CAN'T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES"
and then it came back but made a loud fart noise when it did

and she got through all the guards to obama and told him to
stop the war on nikoboard and he did

----------------------------------
Karkat (from Homestuck) was hungry so he went in burger king
Karkat: "HI "
Billy Mays: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR MIGHTY PUTTY :3"
Karkat: "WHAT THE FUCK! ANOTHER ALL CAPS PERSON"
Karkat: "EXCEPT HE'S ACTUALLY HAPPY ABOUT HIS SHOUTING"
Billy Mays: "THAT'S RIGHT I LOVE TO SHOUT ALL THE TIME"
Billy Mays: "HEY BUY OXICLEAN"
Karkat: "FUCK NO I CAME HERE FOR A BURGER NOT CLEANING PRODUCTS"
Karkat: "CLEANING PRODUCTS ARE OFFENSIVE GTFO"
Billy Mays: "SOMEONE NEEDS TO TURN THEIR FROWN UPSIDE DOWN"
Vegeta: "wtf are you two doing"
Billy Mays: "TALKING TO THIS OTHER ALL CAPS GUY"
Billy Mays: "YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN AWESOME TOXIC SPRAY"
Billy Mays: "IT KILLS STUFF FROM UP TO 50 FEET AWAY"
Karkat: "SWEET GIVE ME OVER NI-"
Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111"
Karkat: "SHUT UP VEGETA"
so billy mays sold Karkat some Awesome Toxic Spray and Squadelah Putty.
and he left
but forgot to get a burger
OH WELL

will you be my friend? :3

Don't you think Kawa preferring my company might have something to do with the fact that you would reply to even things as innocent as "Hi" with "FUCK YOU"? ._.

I'm not intentionally trying to make you unhappy or steal anyone away. I would actually like to be friends again (hence my attempts at being friendly around you). :3

Originally I was UltimateYoshiMaster, which still persists in my email address and in my BYOND key and Roblox name.

Then, somewhere in 2008 or so I realized that name was retarded and changed to NovaYoshi. I was really into Meteos at the time, and it was probably what most inspired the name. (Later "Nova" would become my character's name).
It was probably somewhere in 2009 or 2010 that I started having an alt of Wahovipab that was mainly just randomly placed letters.

NovaYoshi stuck for a few years until finally being mostly dropped for NovaSquirrel when I decided to be a squirrel instead. (though I figured I would still use NovaYoshi for account names, which is why I haven't asked for a name change)

I would most likely try to imitate Allegro's built-in GUI system, where the window is specified as a big array of functions to call in order (that get passed a signal number, like MSG_CLICK or MSG_DRAW and return a signal) with widget properties after it, like width, color, a generic pointer for labels and textboxes, colors and such. Widgets are extended by making a wrapper for another widget's function that traps messages or results.

Posted by Kawa

---

Could you post a snippet of actual code? Also, how would you solve the problem of language-agnosticism?

---

A popup that requests a line of text for a Conway's Life demo a long time ago:

DIALOG the_dialog[] = { /* (dialog proc) (x) (y) (w) (h) (fg)(bg) (key) (flags) (d1) (d2) (dp) (dp2) (dp3) */ { d_clear_proc, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, NULL, NULL, NULL }, { d_ctext_proc, 0, 0, 200, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, Popup_Question1, NULL, NULL }, { d_ctext_proc, 0, 8, 200, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, Popup_Question2, NULL, NULL }, { d_edit_proc, 0, 24, 200, 8, 0, 0, 0, 0, LEN, 0, Popup_Response, NULL, NULL }, { d_button_proc, 0, 48, 200, 20, 0, 0, 'q', D_EXIT, 0, 0, "Okay", NULL, NULL }, { d_yield_proc, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, NULL, NULL, NULL }, { NULL, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, NULL, NULL, NULL } };

and the classical (I guess) "calls a function defined for the button when the button is clicked" thingy I always implement in every single program:

int my_button_proc(int msg, DIALOG *d, int c) { // calls dp3 as a function when clicked int ret = d_button_proc(msg, d, c); if (ret == D_CLOSE && d->dp3) return ((int (*)(void))d->dp3)(); return ret; }

that intercepts messages from a close button that tell the application to exit the menu and instead return the result of a function.

THE TRAGEDY OF ALAURA WHO IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT JULIUS CAESAR IN DISGUISE
(or TTOAWIMDNJCID)

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ "THE TRAGEDY OF JULIUS CAESAR" THEN
YOU PROBABLY WON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS STORY.
----------------------------------------------------------------
There was a large nation named First World that lots of people lived in,
that was really cool so everyone wanted in. IT WAS NOT ROME, SHUT UP!!!!!
(disclaimer: it wasn't actually that cool)

It was ruled by an anthro fox made of SOLID GOLD who had a rainbow beard.
Said fox was named $Dekoa.

He was actually pretty incompetent at ruling but because he was nice to his
people and never passed any especially dumb laws.

One day a VERY SWEET young wolfess showed up at $Dekoa's house named Alaura.
who acted all cute and loving and asked to be a princess
Alaura: "oh hi mister $dekoa sir can I be a princess or something"
$Dekoa: "Yeah Sure That's Fine With Me"
and $dekoa COULD NOT SAY NO TO THE CUTIE. SO ALAURA WAS PUT IN POWER. FUCK!!!

Alaura would NOT let $dekoa rule his way and pretty much TOOK OVER
(basically, $dekoa was left as the person who just did all the WORK and
protected the princess)
and he was fine with that because he was not willing to stand up for himself.
WHAT IS A FOX OF GOLD TO DO!???
absolutely nothing, that's what!!!!

While $Dekoa was simply incompetent at being a king, Alaura was widely regarded
as the WORST RULER EVER. she was very emotional and very spoiled
(and would have dekoa bring her DELICIOUS CAKES to nom on).
every week she would blow something completely out of proportion to complain
about (THAT WAS USUALLY HER FAULT), and since she acted like her problems
concerned ALL of First World, they were referred to as First World Problems (lol)
by the population of First World and the neighboring nations.

Most recently:
<Alaura> Fuck my parents, fuck them to fucking god damn hell
<Alaura> I'm fucking pissed at them
<Alaura> Because they buy my fucking little sister a iphone
<Alaura> And they get me a fucking blackberry
<Alaura> God fuck them

reporter Inaba the bunny would often remark "sounds like a personal problem"
in his newspaper "KOOL RADICAL FIRST WORLD PROBLEMZ".

one day alaura got a call on the phone from Raven from "That's So Raven"
Raven: "BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH"
Alaura: "who the fuck r u"
Raven: "BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
and alaura hung up and then promptly made farting illegal

There was a small neighboring nation of AWESOME FART (SECOND WORLD!!!!)
(ruled by the Princess of the Internet hirself, Princess Nova the squirrel),
which was generally regarded as a very peaceful and awesome place to live.

AWESOME FARTISTS made fun of the childishness of PRINCESS ALAURA, which made her
very angry, SO SHE BLEW IT OUT OF PROPORTION AND secretely plotted to nuke.
OF COURSE, SINCE SHE HAS TO WHINE ABOUT EVERY PROBLEM, IT WAS NOT VERY SECRET.
so everyone knew about it. (even the AWESOMER FARTISTS. OOPS)
BUT SHE INTENDED TO NUKE ANYWAY!!! (or said she did, anyway)

after it was discovered that alaura in fact had no nukes and was only bluffing,
ALESSA FROM THIRD WORLD (poopland) who was allied with Alaura sent over some.

now Alaura had become A SERIOUS THREAT, a condition WHICH NOBODY APPROVED OF
(not even $dekoa or Alaura's "boyfriend" $vince)
IT WAS DECIDED THAT SHE HAD TO BE STOPPED.

$Vince (commie shamwow salesman fox) and $Raiven (possumsnake; often fdrink =w=)
and $TCD (GAY DEER, AKA A STAGGOT) sat down together at a TABLE in private. also there
was a radioactive coyote named $Ezno.

$Vince: "ALAURA MUST BE STOPPED!!!!"
$Ezno: "SHE MUST DIE!!!!!!"
$TCD: "you're not ganon! SORRY"
$Ezno: "OH OOPS, LOL"
$Raiven: "yeah I guess but uh ISN'T $DEKOA PROTECTING HER?"
$Ezno: "SHIT FORGOT ABOUT THAT"
$Vince: "WELL UH, ISN'T $DEKOA SOLID GOLD?!??!?"
$Ezno: "WHY YES HE IS"
$Vince: "I HAVE A PLAN, LET'S GET INDIANA JONES"
$Vince: "AND HE'LL STEAL $DEKOA FOR MONEYS"
$Raiven: "and then once alaura's unprotected..."
$TCD: "... THEN RAIVEN AND I CAN GO MAKE HER MUST DIE"
$Raiven: "honey u need to work on ur grammar"
$TCD: "sorry babe"
$Raiven: "LET'S DO THIS ON MARCH 15TH FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON"
$Ezno: "sure okay"
they were actually quiet about it and KEPT IT SECRET
but alessa was spying on them and knew about it
she didn't hear all of it though

somehow $Ezno got Alaura's phone number (some say Princess Nova gave it out)
and was texting her constantly (FILLING HER WITH RAGE)
so much that eventually she grew tired of it and shut off her phone

tragically, right after this, alessa tried to send alaura a text
warning her of the danger, but the phone was off
(so she didn't know!) <3

however alessa did tell guards to be on the lookout for INDIANA JONES
(they did NOT take her seriously.........)

-------------------------
------- THE IDES OF MARCH
-------------------------
the conspirators got together
$TCD: "wait honey"
$Raiven: "yes?"
$TCD: "uhhhh this is oddly similar to THE TRAGEDY OF JULIUS CAESAR"
$Raiven: "this has something to do with your ROMAN EMPIRE FETISH, doesn't it?"
$TCD: "I'M AFRAID SO"
$Raiven: "okay honey!!!!" :3
so $Raiven dressed up as Cinna and $TCD dressed up as Cassius,
and $Vince dressed up as Brutus and $Ezno dressed up as JULIUS CAESAR!

$Ezno ran into alaura's house and FARTED illegally, and ran out, causing every
single policeman in First World to chase after him!!!!!! right out of the house
$Ezno: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA U CAN'T GET ME"
police: "OH YES WE CAN, FARTS R ILLEGAL NOW!!!"
and they stumbled across Illinois Jones and thought he was the Indiana Jones that
Alessa had warned them about, and captured him!!!!!!!! (Illinois is right by Indiana)
SO THEY WERE REALLY BUSY, AND COULD NOT PROTECT ALAURA, OKAY? (leaving $dekoa)

so indiana jones GOT SIGNAL to go in alaura's house
$Dekoa: "oh good heavens get out of here"
and indiana jones STOLE THE GOLD $DEKOA FOX!!!!!!!!!
AND RAN OFF
so alaura was unprotected
Alaura: "Hello?"
------
$Raiven and $TCD and $Vince ran to Alaura's house next
and nobody knew who they were because of the costumes

and $Vince went in alone (remember he was still alaura's "boyfriend")
$Vince: "hey honey how's about we order a pizza today "
Alaura: "that sounds delightful!!!!!! wait who r u"
and vince took the costume off
Alaura: "OH IT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!"

but suddenly $TCD and $Raiven busted in (without costumes)
$Raiven: "hey ALAURA im fdrink =w="
Alaura: "HEY GET OUT OF MY HOUSE"
and being the AWESOMER FARTISTS they were
the trio made a HUGE ILLEGAL COMBINED PERIWINKLE FART

SO ALAURA IS LIKE, DYING from the smell
Alaura: "EVEN YOU, VINCE!?!?!?!!?!? UR MY BF!!!!"
and Alaura BEGIN TO CRYING
$Vince: "LOL NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
and then she died

so uh
they all ran away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
--- A FEW DAYS LATER
---------------------------
the people of First world and Second world were happy but
the people of Third world were angry SPECIFICALLY ALESSA MOST OF ALL.

inaba the reporter had newspapers and was all
Inaba: "EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT alaura dies DUE TO FARTS, EXTRA EXTRA"

this had really upset GreyMaria though for some reason even though he hated alaura!!
he was out AND ABOUT in First World (MAYBE HE HAD A CRUSH ON ALAURA, I DUNNO)
and saw Raven from "That's So Raven"
GM: "hey weren't u one of the people who killed alaura"
Raven: "what the FUCK, no, that would be Raiven, not Raven"
GM: "FUCK IT im so pissed right nao. AAAAAAAAAARGH"
Raven: "oh shit I'm having a vision of doritos"
GM: "what"
Raven: "OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE"
GM: "goodness gracious woman U NEED SPECIAL HELP"
so GM punched raven and WENT ON HIS WAY

ALESSA WAS ABSOLUTELY ENRAGED and mad at the awesome fartists for awesomely farting...
...a fart that way too excellent for alaura, APPARENTLY.

First World pretty much FELL APART since THE PRINCESS WAS GONE, AND THE KING
WAS STOLEN BY INDIANA JONES. WHO WOULD BE THE NEW RULER!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?
it was decided there would be a VOTE and PRESIDENTS and stuff.

SO OF COURSE OBAMA WAS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT
but also RON PAULGUY BUNYAN REVERE. (RON PAUL + PAULGUY + PAUL BUNYAN + PAUL REVERE)
(this story takes place in some point in time before obamastory so
the people don't know he's such a crappy president yet SO HE STILL HAS A CHANCE!!)

MEANWHILE ron paul bunyan revere was visiting Third World,
and there was a pixie with him named Dubious
and went in to check on Alessa, but she wasn't home.
Instead there was a note: "GONNA GO TAKE OVER First World, BRB!"
and it had a cellphone number underneath it, and it was VIRGIN MOBILE.

so NOW everything was suddenly clear to him
apparently Alaura wasn't really evil as much as she was an attention whore
and it was actually Alessa that was evil
and IT WAS ALL A PLOT BY ALESSA TO GAIN POLICITAL POWER!!!!!!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHA
Ron: "dubious it's all a plot by alessa to gain political power"
Ron: "I'm gonna go warn the peoples"
Dubious: "sure okay, while you do that I'll go sneak into a phone sex company"
Ron: "WHAT THE FUCK DUBIOUS, THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS"
Dubious: "no, I have a plan"
Ron: "A STUPID ONE"

Dubious ran off and snuck into a phone sex company unauthorized
and it was easy since he was so tiny and unnoticeable.

immediately ron paul put on a jetpack or something
AND FLEW TO FIRST WORLD VERY EPICALLY
Ron: "THE ALESSAS R CUMMING!!!!! THE ALESSAS R CUMMING!!!!!"
and he crashed into a building in First World
Ron: "oops"
but he wasn't hurt!!!!
so he got up, and organized another meeting of $TCD, $Ezno, $Vince, and $Raiven.
------------
Ron: "okay so we're in just as much danger as before"
$TCD: "BUT UH, WE GOT RID OF ALAURA!!!! IT SHOULD BE FIXED!!!"
Ron: "Alaura was a harmless attention whore. ALESSA, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS TAKING OVER"
$TCD: "wait what how did you know"
Ron: "there was a NOTE and stuff"
$Raiven: "wait so we got the wrong person and alaura was innocent!?!?!???"
Ron: "YES. BUT SHE WAS ANNOYING, I GUESS, SO IT MAY HAVE BEEN JUSTIFIED"
$Raiven:
Ron: "okay, it WAS completely unnecessary and sad"
Ron: "but how do we defend First World against alessa!?!?"
$TCD: "I know just the guy ;D"

so $TCD called Gunkitty on the phone (who is a tiger, with a badass hat)
(phone)$TCD: "hey we need supplies and stuff to fight alessa"
(phone)Gunkitty: "why don't I just come over there and do it myself"
(phone)$TCD: "I DUNNO WHY DON'T YOU"
(phone)Gunkitty: "FINE, GEEZ"
so gunkitty went on his way

and ALESSA SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR of whatever place $TCD, $Ezno, $Vince, and $Raiven
were hanging out in, with a GUN!!!!!!

Alessa: "OH HI!!!"
$TCD: "ALESSA!!!!!!!"
Alessa: "yes, it's me!" ._.
Alessa: "it was all a HUGE PLOT FOR POLITICAL POWER"
Alessa: "now the king's out of the way and I'm free to take over, just as I planned"
Alessa: "but nobody can know about this so I'm gonna have to shoot you" :3
------ in the phone sex place ----
Dubious got one of the phones and called Alessa!!!!
Dubious: "hey alessa, how about we have phone sex?" ;D
----- in the meeting room ----
Alessa: "oh hey I got a new call, lemme get tha-"
AND THE PHONE BLEW UP IMMEDIATELY AND KILLED ALESSA BUT
IT DID NOT HURT ANYONE ELSE.

Ron: "oh god"
$Raiven: "um, what just happened???!?"
Ron: "she had virgin mobile as her service provider"
Ron: "and Dubious called her from a phone sex place"
Ron: "IT CAN'T BE *VIRGIN* MOBILE IF IT'S HAD SEX, SO THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION"
Ron: "it wasn't as huge a reaction as you'd get from like, dividing by zero, but STILL"

(phone)Gunkitty: "okay what the FUCK you didn't even hang up on me"
(phone)$TCD: "oh oops!!! WELL, YOU DON'T NEED TO COME HERE NOW I GUESS!!!!"
and $TCD hung up

--------------------------------------------
So it was ELECTIONS TIME for presidents and stuff
and only one person voted (Ron Paulguy Bunyan Revere) himself
and he voted for HIMSELF (how surprising)

AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO BOTHERED TO VOTE
SO HE WON!!!

-------to be continued if I ever decide to write RonPaulStory---------
<hs_maxim> the important thing is that ron paul will turn america into bioshock

Posted by GreyMaria

---

What the fuck is this and where are my royalties.

---

Originally just a quick story that was intended to annoy Alaura since she hates me probably even more than you (it succeeded!):

---

* Alaura message novasquirrel i will beat your fucking face in you little prick, i hope you die and go to hell, and bring along all your other minions too, because as this is, this is considered cyber Stalkinghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberstalking Harassment and stalking of women online is common, and can include rape threats and other threats of violence, as well as the posting of women's personal information.

---

but I figured you might enjoy a story where Alaura dies so I posted it here

Posted by Kawa

---

I'm quite certain Nova could write perfectly reasonable stories. Even if the specific genre isn't up to scratch.

---

Reasonable stories? These nonsensical, immature stories are much more fun to write and people like them! This is my second(?) attempt at a story with an actual plot of sorts

Posted by GreyMaria

---

Also, she likes me again.

---

Yeah, she slipped into one of those "I don't hate you and didn't mean to leave you" periods with me again, so she and I are friends again too. :3
It was actually making me quite sad to write about her dying, especially when she was pretty innocent in the story, as reflected by the characters realizing they had done something wrong afterward.

It all started when I found out that SkiFree's graphics are all easily editable in any resource editor. I messed around with replacing graphics with various things until I finally ended with this, SkiFree Poop Version:


It has a lot of changes, such as making the dog into Nyan Cat, making the slow snowboarders Obama and the faster ones 20% cooler, and the obvious change of having poop everywhere, among other things.

Download here

ALSO KNOWN AS "ask the other other other other resident furry (no not that one or the other one but the SQUIRREL)"

Might as well, since I'm bored and GM did one of these months ago and I've kind of fallen behind on my parodying, and my other threads are always like     dead.

How is babby formed?
They need to do way instain mother> who kill their babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back?

It was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden ; i am truley sorry for your lots

Do you know the mussel man?
No but he is a obviously a ripoff of the muffin man except he lives on mussel lane and has huge muscles.

HEY GUYS, IT'S HITLER'S BIRTHDAY TODAY,
SO I MIGHT AS WELL RELEASE THIS!

-----------------------------------------------

In Soviet Nazi Germany, Communism Eats *YOU*
also known as: Hitler and the quest for THE JOJ

Goal: try to write a story about World War II without any swearing or sex jokes,
so if it's offensive, it's offensive simply for being about World War II
--------------------------------------
In A.D. 2100, Westley from a foundation repair company located in Texas,
named HOH SIS, somehow became president of the United States of America.
This company was famous for something called "THE JOJ" which was actually the
word "job" but with the second half of the word replaced with the first half
in reverse. Westley was obsessed with doing things all over again.

HOH SIS was called on the phone by Hitler and Westley picked up the phone.
Hitler: "hey dude"
Westley: "sup?"
Hitler: "I was just thinking, uhhh, REMEMBER WORLD WAR 2 from like, the 1940s?"
Westley: "IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN"
Hitler: "holy crap, okay!"

In A.D. 2101
World War II was Beginning. AGAIN.
Hitler: "yeah let's do this thing all over again"
Westley: "YEAH!!!"

Somehow Nazi Germany existed again, and so did the Soviet Union, and pretty
much everything was how it was during World War II.
except this time, Hitler wanted THE JOJ and wanted it REALLY BADLY!!!!
AND THERE WAS VEGETA WHO WAS OVER 9000 DOLLARS IN DEBT

so the Soviet Union and the USA and Britain and China and THE FRENCHY FRENCH,
and even Canada got together and were all "no u can't have THE JOJ, hitler <3"
also there was Poland, and Goku!!!!!

while Italy and Japan were like "hey we want the joj too!!!!!!!!!!"
also there was Iraq. AND OTHER COUNTRIES but they won't be in this.
anyway italy and japan were on hitler's side!!!!!! TOGETHER, THEY WERE
THE FACES OF EVIL, BUT HISTORIANS SAY THEY WERE ACTUALLY THE "AXIS OF EVIL"

-----------------------------------------------------------
Hitler invaded poland and was like "lol poland im in ur base killing ur doods"

so GEORGE W. BUSH reacted by invading Iraq (all by himself)
Bushie: "hahaha I'm in Iraq!!!!!"
Iraq: "no get out plz"
Bushie: "no just try and stop me"
so the Iraq people got weapons of mass destruction
Bushie: "plz help"

so the USA sent Bill Nye the Science Guy
Bill Nye: "Iraq, there's no such thing as mass destruction. You can't DESTROY mass."
Iraq: "sorry I guess you're right"
so they gave the weapons of mass destruction to Bill Nye
who was like "oh sweet!!!!!!"

------okay over in poland--------
Poland: "hey hitler get out of here"
Hitler: "SORRY POLAND I WANT THE JOJ"
Poland: "we don't have it, sorry"
Hitler: "I KNOW U GOT THE JOJ"
Poland: "no but we have JOBS"
Hitler: "can we have that please"
so Poland sent Steve Jobs to Hitler in a Limo
Steve: "hey dude!!!!!!!!"
and then he gave Hitler an iPhone.
Hitler: "holy crap this............ totally wasn't in World War II at all"
Steve: "WHO CARES!!!!!!!?"
Hitler: "yeah I guess you're right"
so Hitler left Poland and decided to go elsewhere to look for THE JOJ!!!!!
because Poland only had Jobs and not JOJ

----------------IN IRAQ------------------
Bushie: "oh hitler left poland, hey guys can you pick me up"
Bushie: "guys?"

Bill Nye was still there
so he invented a super awesome TV and Bill Nye and George Bush were watching it
and an educational program about Russia or something came on.
and it was supposed to play a video clip about Vladimir Lenin taking over,
except the title of it was "LENIN TAKES OVER VIDEO CLIP" and there was no spacing at all
between "takes over" and "video clip" so he turned evil and TOOK OVER THE VIDEO CLIP.
Bill Nye tried to change the channel but it was stuck.
Lenin: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I TOOK OVER THIS VIDEO CLIP"
Lenin: "YOU CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
and then Bill Nye tried to turn the TV off but couldn't
Lenin: "I TOOK OVER A VIDEO CLIP!!!!!!!"
Lenin: "AFTER, I SHALL RULE, UH, THE WORLD!!!!!!!"
Bill Nye: "you're stuck in the TV, dummy!"
Lenin: "OH, TRUE!!!!!"

AND THEN SUDDENLY,
JOHN LENNON from the Beatles showed up in a yellow submarine
and got out and was like "SUP LENIN"
Lenin: "oh nothing, just TAKING OVER THIS VIDEO CLIP"
Lennon: "if it's just a clip of a video, why is it lasting so long????"
Lenin: "IT'S THE NEVERENDING VIDEO CLIP!!!!!!!! BECAUSE I TOOK IT OVER!"
Lennon: "oh alright that makes sense"

So what were George Bush and Bill Nye doing during this?
THEY WERE HIJACKING THE YELLOW SUBMARINE!!!!! AND DROVE AWAY!

when John Lennon finally noticed he was like
Lennon: "holy crap guys, come back with my YELLOW SUBMARINE"
Bushie: "no way!!!!"
Bill Nye: "all your submarine are belong to us!!!"
and they drove off to home in the submarine
-----------------
So Hitler went to Anne Frank's house (what, did you expect it to be secret or something?)
and busted down the door.
Hitler: "hey anne do u have the joj"
Anne: "no, hitler"
Hitler: "YOU LIE!!!!"
and hitler held up anne frank's diary and turned to a page:
"Dear diary, today I had THE JOJ with Goku and it was fantastic or something"
Anne: "UH, WELL......"
Hitler: "I WANT THE JOJ!!!!!"
Anne: "fine you can have it"
Hitler: "wait, really??"
Anne: "yes"
Hitler: "where is it????"
and then Steve Jobs pulled up in a limo
Hitler: "CRAP, NOT THIS AGAIN!!!!!!!!"
and Hitler punched Anne Frank
Anne: "that hurt, u big meanie"
and Anne called Goku on the phone
Goku: "hi this is goku"
Anne: "dude I need you to come over here and beat up hitler okay?"
so goku flew over
Goku: "I'm sorry Anne but Hitler has left the building"
Anne: "AFTER HIM!!!!!"
Goku ran out after Hitler and got to him

Goku: "hi hitler"
Hitler: "OH NO IT'S GOKU"
and Goku went super saiyan
Hitler: "HEY TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
and hitler's hair turned spiky and blond and his eyes turned blue and he was super powerful
Goku: "holy crap you can go super saiyan"
Hitler: "UH, NO, THIS IS ARYAN RAGE MODE, IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!"
so they both went in the air
Goku: "KAMEHAMEHA!!!!"
and he fired an energy blast
and hitler dodged it and attacked with Panzer Strike
(all his attacks are named after nazi war machines)
but it missed and then goku tried again
and it got hitler
Hitler: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU GOT ME"
and he crashed to the ground as his normal self
but he wasn't actually hurt, he was mostly just stunned
Goku: "DON'T EVER LET ME CATCH YOU HURTING ANNE FRANK AGAIN"
Hitler: "yes sir"

----------
so hitler went to SOVIET RUSSIA because he heard the joj was there.
ALL THE BUILDINGS WERE SHAPED LIKE TETRIS BLOCKS

Hitler: "HELLOOOOOOO IS THERE ANY JOJ IN HERE???"
but there was nobody around!!!!!
so he went in Stalin's house
Hitler: "hahaha I'm Stalin!!"

and then the real Stalin came in
and then this guy named STUPID shot an arrow (the retarded brother of CUPID!!!)
and THEY FELL IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hitler: "Stalin you're looking awfully gorgeous today!!!!"
Stalin: "Holy crap hitler your moustache is so sexy!!!!!"
Hitler: "Oh Stalin" <3
Stalin: "Oh Hitler" <3
they hugged romantically and made out
Hitler: "Stalin let's be together always"
Stalin: "What about the war?"
Hitler: "WHO CARES ABOUT THE WAR?" <3
Stalin: "Oh, okay" :3
and they kissed! <3
Hitler: "Stalin, let's get married!" <3
Stalin: "Okay!"
so Hitler and Stalin went to a marriage place
Marriage guy: "Hitler will you take Stalin to be your wife"
Hitler: "Yes" <3
Marriage guy: "Stalin will you take Hitler to be your husband"
Stalin: "Yes!!!!" <3
and they got married

so Stalin and Hitler were now on their honeymoon and totally out of the war
a reporter guy named ANDY was like "WONDER HOW LONG THE HONEYMOON WILL LAST"
and took a photo! - http://www.apstudent.com/ushistory/docs1901/hitlstal.jpg

Who takes over Germany and Soviet Russia, then!?
In Germany, a guy by the name of ClIF H. BrON who was really good with rockets
came into power alongside a monster made of BUTTER. (the butter guy was the leader though)
Russia, meanwhile, elected Bio Force Ape. (actually, there was only one guy
at the voting place since everyone else was busy playing Tetris.
THAT PERSON WAS DONKEY KONG, SO GUESS WHO HE VOTED FOR!!!)
(Bio Force Ape was an ape who drank Bio Force serum to become a pro wrestler)
ClIF H. BrON's arch nemesis, BrINClHOF lived in Russia!

Suddenly all the bananas in Germany were missing, and everyone blamed Bio Force Ape.
so SOME ANGRY GERMAN GUY posted ads that said "$2000 to whoever kills BIO FORCE APE!!!!!"

so the Butter Monster drove a limo to Bio Force Ape's house
but the door was locked, so he SLIPPED QUIETLY IN THROUGH THE CRACK IN THE DOOR
(remember, he's made of butter, SO HE CAN DO THAT)
but then Paper Doll Man showed up and was like "dude THAT'S *MY* THING, NOT YOURS"
and they got in a fight, but the butter monster was a coward so he kept slipping
quietly in through the cracks of doors to try and escape while Paper Doll Man followed him!

Eventually the butter monster ended up in the room with a very upset Bio Force Ape!!!!!
Bio Force Ape: "dude get the hell out of my house"
Butter Monster: "JA I AM MADE OF DUR BUTTER UND YOU ARE WORTH 2K MONIES"
and then Bio Force Ape got so angry that he punched the butter monster right in the face,
shouting "EAT COMMUNISM!!!" (paper doll man turned into a paper airplane and escaped)
and the butter monster was dead DUE TO THE AWESOME COMMIE FIST OF BIO FORCE APE!!!!!!
http://durbutter.com/durbutter.gif

Andy reported this in the newspaper: "BIO FORCE APE KILLS THE BUTTER MONSTER, SAYS TO EAT COMMUNISM"
so Wilford Brimley, some old diabetic guy, invaded a Quaker Oats company and forced
them to sell COMMIE OATS instead that were red colored and didn't actually taste that good.
Germany, as a whole (except ClIF BrON decided to drop out of the war and eat COMMIE FLAKES instead.
Also in the news: "PAPER DOLL MAN GETS IN EPIC FIGHT WITH PARAPPA THE RAPPER!!!!!"

ClIF BrON was surprised to see Germany's leader go down so easily!!!!!
HE WAS SO ANGRY AT RUSSIA
so he decided to go against the Allies ALL BY HIMSELF. He built a giant rocket
that he was planning on launching AT RUSSIA.
On the side of the rocket were the words "DIATOMIC ELEMENTS ARE COOL!!!"

Bio Force Ape (russia's leader) heard of this and called over his buddies BrINClHOF and
this really cool guy named SID SPACE. (who was good at both latin AND SPACE STUFF).
(his actual name is "Sine In De Sub Pro Ab Cum Ex" but nobody can remember that
so everyone calls him SID SPACE, which is a lot easier to pronounce too)
They found these REALLY OLD Roman plans for an orbital space cannon thingy.
Because the Romans wrote it, it was in latin, which SID SPACE was able to translate
perfectly for BrINClHOF to build.
SID SPACE then used his space skills to get the orbital space cannon into orbit.

ClIF BrON was about to launch his rocket at russia when suddenly
THE ORBITAL SPACE CANNON BLEW IT UP but it didn't hurt anyone.
he could just build another though!!!

but before he could,
a police guy was at his house
Police guy: "ClIF BrON YOU NEED TO COME WITH ME"
ClIF BrON: "okay what did I do now"
Police guy: "ON THE SIDE OF your rocket you wrote illegal stuff"
ClIF BrON: "wait so I'm not going to jail for the rocket itself"
Police guy: "what rocket"
ClIF BrON: "uh"
the police guy punched ClIF BrON
ClIF BrON: "that was totally UNCALLED FOR!!!!!!!!!!"
Police guy: "you're coming WITH US"
and they handcuffed ClIF BrON and had him get in the car
EXCEPT IT WAS A PAPA JOHN'S DELIVERY CAR
and when the police got him into the car,
guess who was driving!!!??? (it was BrINClHOF)

BrINClHOF!!!!! QUIT DRIVING THAT CAR. IT'S NOT YOURS!!!!!!

BrINClHOF: "ur going 2 jail mister"
ClIF BrON: "since when!!!?????!?!?!"
BrINClHOF: "since 4ever, dude!!!!"
ClIF BrON: "wait isn't this a papa john's delivery car"
BrINClHOF: "I DUNNO IS IT!??????"
ClIF BrON: "how did you get this car"
BrINClHOF: "I STOLE IT FROM A GARDEN GNOME!!!!!"
ClIF BrON: "isn't that illegal or something"
and BrINClHOF turned around and presented a license:
"BrINClHOF - LICENSE TO STEAL FROM GARDEN GNOMES!!!!!!!!!!!"
except the whole thing was done in really sloppy handwriting
that was obviously BrINClHOF's!!!
ClIF BrON: "wait isn't that in your own handwriting"
BrINClHOF: "NO IT'S HELEN KELLER'S!!!!!!"
ClIF BrON: "she could not see THE GARDEN GNOME!!!!!!!"
BrINClHOF: "what's a garden GNOME!????????"
ClIF BrON:
BrINClHOF: "no seriously what is a garden gnome??? I made all this stuff up!!"
ClIF BrON: "where did you really get the car then??"
BrINClHOF: "oh I ordered a pizza from papa john's, but-"
ClIF BrON: "oh wow did you seriously say papa john's BUTT?"
BrINClHOF: "no!!!! be quiet"
ClIF BrON: "does he even have a butt??"
BrINClHOF: "WHY YES HE DOES!!!!!!!"
ClIF BrON: "ew!!!!! how disgusting!!!!!!"
BrINClHOF: "EXACTLY HOW DISGUSTING!???? THAT'S A JOB FOR SCIENCE!!!"
ClIF BrON: "let's build a DISGUSTING-O-METER!!!!!!!!!"
so yeah they went off and totally did lots of science things instead of actually doing the war!!!
------------------------------

So now, there was still Italy and Japan left, and Italy was being run by MARIO.
Mario had this pretty terrible idea for a weapon that was to be a GIGANTIC VOLCANO
that he would build IN THE WHITE HOUSE that was to be full of vinegar and he would
drop tons of baking soda in via a plane and it would make a bunch of foam and drown everyone.

Mario had everyone put ALL THE BAKING SODA OF ALL OF ITALY in one place but it was secret.
Fortunately, he only got the GIGANTIC VOLCANO built before Mario's evil plans were discovered.

BrINClHOF and ClIF BrON were given a mission to STOP mario from flooding the place.
They checked lotsa castles to try and find the baking soda but in every castle
there was a guy that said "sorry but your baking soda is in another castle!!!!"

but in one castle there was this really helpful guy named Mr.Map that they picked up
who was a map, who sang. Except he wasn't just any map, he was THE map, and he liked
to constantly remind everyone of that in his special song.
Mr.Map: "IF THERE'S A PLACE YOU GOTTA GO, I'M THE ONE YOU NEED TO KNOW"
ClIF BrON: "well THAT'S GREAT, map, show us where the baking soda is pease"
Mr.Map: "IF THERE'S A PLACE YOU GOTTA GET, I CAN GET YOU THERE I BET!!!"
ClIF BrON: "yeah I understand now show us where it is please"
Mr.Map: "I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP, I'M THE MAP..."
and then BrINClHOF picked up the map and looked at it
and apparently the baking soda supply was in texas right next to the joj supply, actually
so they went there and STUFFED ALL THE BAKING SODA INTO A TRUCK
and they were like "all your BASE are belong to us!!! get it!??" AND THEY DROVE OFF WITH IT.

Mario was very upset when he learned of this news.
Obviously he didn't have any better plans so he just gave up on the war.
he paid the USA 5 coins for their troubles and Westley was all "OMG, YOU CHEAPSKATE!!!"
but otherwise didn't bother him anymore! (because it totally paid off Vegeta's debt somehow,
becaused he used the 5 coins to buy gum and then he paid the debt collector guy in gum).
TRIDENT LAYERS!!!

------------------------------

Suddenly the country of COLGATE was formed and it was part of the AXIS OF EVIL!!!!
It was ruled by this purple rabbit dentist guy named Doctor Rabbit!
COLGATE made these really stupid looking airplanes shaped like candies.

These airplanes were actually pretty cool!!!!
On the side they said "PLAQUE ATTACK" and everything!!!
AND PLAQUE MONSTERS PILOTED THEM!!!!
except they only dropped out candy, in an attempt to give kids cavities.

Dr.Rabbit realized this wasn't very effective, and signed a deal with AT&T,
where AT&T agreed to change its name to A-TNT, which now stood for
"easily Avoidable-TNT" and it made really crappy explosives that were
super easy to avoid.

The USA sent in really dumb TOOTHPASTE SHAPED ANTI-AIR WEAPONS
to combat this threat.

Somehow, it worked perfectly!!!!!!
and COLGATE dropped out of the war and decided to sell toothpaste instead.
------------------------------

So, basically everyone in the axis was out of the war except Japan!!!!
USA: "hey japan you should like, surrender"
Japan: "NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!!!!!!!"
USA: "hey japan if you don't surrender WE'LL DROP THE F-BOMB ON YOU!!!!"
so the USA hired F-Bomberman (which was like bomberman except he had a potty mouth)
and he went to japan and shouted the F-word at the very top of his lung
which caused a GIANT EXPLOSION! (it's an F-*BOMB*, what did you expect?)
So Japan itself was like "F-WORD!!!!!!!!" in reaction which made more explosions,
so they got this guy named Barack Obama and put him on a helicopter
Obama: "uh guys what are you doing"
and they flew to washington DC
and pushed Obama out and he fell into the oval office somehow
and was the new president!!!!
USA: "CRAP YOU JUST DROPPED THE O-BOMB ON AMERICA"
Japan: "well you dropped the F-bomb on us. it's only fair!"
Obama: "hey guys let's have universal healthcare!!!!!!!"
USA: "THAT SOUNDS GREAT, ACTUALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
and then Japan laughed evilly!!!!

Yes this does mean Westley wasn't the president anymore

AND THEN OBAMASTORY HAPPENED!!!!!
--------------------
AND THEN, a few months after the war, on 4/20, Hitler went to his mailbox
and there it was: A PACKAGE OF THE JOJ sent by France, with the letter:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! ~love, france"
and included was like, a couple slices of FRENCH BREAD and some FRENCH FRIES.
but at he bottom the letter said:
"P.S. THE JOJ was all actually in Texas. I don't know why you didn't just try
to invade HOH SIS instead of entering random countries!!! KIND OF DUMB IF YOU ASK ME!"

Posted by GreyMaria

---

I think you're starting to slip. Where's Natalie?

---

I intentionally tried not to include any Internet friends, classmates, or self-inserts this time, though I'm not even sure how any of my friends would fit into World War II.
It was super easy to get the stock characters I always use in it though. (SID SPACE and friends)

I'm more interested in the new indie consoles coming out than the next XBox or Playstation. I actually have an Ouya preordered and I'm going to port my games to it.

RETRO NOLIMITNET QUOTES from ages ago

<Kyurel> alright <Kyurel> so today I drove 125 miles <Kyurel> driving is more fun than sitting in the passenger seat trying to find a radio station that's not country and not in spanish <NovaYoshi> drove 125 miles to Nova's house <Kyurel> fucking LeOdd stealing my link like a boss <NovaYoshi> driving 125 miles to LeOdd's house like a boss <Kyurel> ... <Kyurel> novayoshi why is that funny <tubular> inb4 new botplace meme <tubular> that i won't give shit about <Darkon> Fuck <NovaYoshi> yes please <NightKev> just die in a fire ny (talking about boiling water to make pasta) <Kyurel> except maybe I would have been like "Wait till it looks like the lava in super mario world, only clear" <Kyurel> maybe nova doesn't know what boiling looks like, you know? <Vector> ho, stag ... <stag019> lol <stag019> and why did you call me a ho? <tubular> he thinks he is a pimp <tubular> he is coming off a coding high and he is what we often call <tubular> "thinks he is a pimp" <Kuro-chan> Post edited by ShoFIZZLE (General Chat: What are you wearing? (7025)) - https://acmlm.kafuka.org/board?p=146820 <NovaYoshi> would I get in trouble if I replied "bra and panties. u?" <NightKev> hopefully <KP9000> I would ban you on the stpot <NightKev> okay good <NightKev> go do it <NightKev> ! <NovaYoshi> GreyMario -> GM -> Grandmother <GreyMaria> for the love of god <GreyMaria> at least pretend to have a brain <Nick> you don't <Nick> why should he <NovaYoshi> burn <Kyurel> hey what is that menu called that is like <Kyurel> |------text---------------| <Kyurel> |&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;| <Kyurel> |&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;content&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;| <Kyurel> |&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;| <Kyurel> |-------------------------| <NovaYoshi> nice art <Kyurel> I can't remember how to do that in html <stag019> box <Kyurel> somethign with a label <NovaYoshi> --------- <NovaYoshi> | penis | <NovaYoshi> -------------- <NovaYoshi> | picture of alcaro's penis | <NovaYoshi> | sign up for our newsletter | <NovaYoshi> ----------------------- <stag019> fieldset? <Kyurel> ah yes <Kyurel> thank you <zkip> rofl4 <zkip> i love how nova involves * stag019 sticks you up <stag019> gimme all your monies <NovaSquirrel> why would a squirrel have any money <stag019> ... <stag019> i refuse to say gimme all your nuts <NovaSquirrel> danny phantom <padz> pls go <NovaSquirrel> pls going ghost <NovaSquirrel> let's have a versioning software convention and then call it a "git together" <comet> git the fuck out

I've been playing Beat Hazard Ultra (from the Humble Bundle) which actually runs exceptionally well on even my crappy laptop, and replaying through Pokemon Diamond. I find myself liking games that turn music into gameplay, though with Audiosurf it's a lot easier to tell what it's actually doing with it.