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06-19-19 09:16 AM
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Main - The Officer's Club - dealing with stress
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Posted on 05-01-18 10:05 AM (rev. 3 of 05-01-18 10:10 AM by Thieppy) Link | ID: 131692

gee, waffles!
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bad news. I wrote a whole speech.

I dunno how to put this, so I'll start with some backstory.

for a long while, I had given up responsabilities I couldn't bring myself to bear. and now I'm paying the price for it.
this is my life we're talking about. I can't compare myself to whoever because my life is weird:

first, my school course is a failure for the most part. in major part due to a bad setting and me slacking more and more over time.
at the end of the day, I haven't learnt much.
I've been running away and indulging in distractions for so long, my life had become peak inefficient (and frustrating) til recently.
I ended up snapping and letting it all out to my mother, and had a proper talk with my parents. thanks to that, I got an opporunity (which I clumsily started to seize) and things have improved somewhat.

but the large part of my problems remain: the feeling of having no control over your own school course is ridiculous. being a disappointment (hello worthlessness) has always been a major source of my repressed stress. it's been going on for years so it's probably never going to go away.

anyway, since I can't just not care anymore, I'm taking it a lot more seriously again. and my stress says hi.
since the day I accidentally started a revolution, my mindset has shifted towards fixing the many broken aspects of my life and turning out normal-ish. normal enough to be a good bun for the one I like, and decent enough to be able to become what I wish to be.

I'll admit, the possiblity of a life with* Epele is the top reason I'm pushing my way through getting my life moving again.

so, I've been getting some progress at starting to get my life back in order, beginning with my surroundings. for example, turning my place (well, our apartment) into something else than a mess.
now I'm done with the bulk of it and only the tedious stuff remain, I'm having trouble stay motivated and get stuff done. while I said fixing aspects of my life, I'm very unsure what to do next, and in the meantime I'm doing about nothing. if I let myself laze away in a daze I'll be waste time.
I don't want to go back to waiting in vain for things to happen, while taking blows** and ending depressed.

to be frank, I have no idea how to properly explain all this. I'm just writing what's on my mind but since it's something you need to <be there> to understand, it's full of context holes.

anyway.. my stress usually rises when I have enough time to think too much; but I don't think forcing myself to be proactive would solve anything.

on average, when I'm dealing with high stress there's common occurences: lots of "hopeless" matter on my mind, the way small hindrances tick me off easily, how anything that is delayed piles up in my mind, and my motivation sinking down.

I'm not at my worst; I can let out some of my repressed feelings more freely to my parents than before. but I can't just unload and abuse thier understanding stance; they are steadily getting fed up with my "revolution" already.

there's also stress I have no ways to unload, like private matters I cannot and do not want to disclose. so I'm stuck, I want to talk it out with somebody understanding but can't.
said >somebody cannot be a therapist. I'm willing to talk to a therapist about my sexual identity, but anything about my repressed stress goes way back and I can't think of ways to sum it up. I'm not willing to talk about this to a third party who doesn't know me one bit.

*it's all up to her, though; as much as I enjoy her company I do not like to impose.
**you know how life throws blows at you? right now I suck at handling them. you can see when I feel out of it, I write a lot.
this time I intended to make a thread, so I went way overboard. sorry! (>-<;;)

so.. stress.
do you have any tips for managing it? writing this out felt nice and relieving, but I'd appreciate some more long-term advice if you have any :P

any input is welcome.


Posted on 05-01-18 11:54 AM Link | ID: 131695
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The Sorceress.

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The first step to dealing with stress, is to not bottle it up.

Having activities that help you relax is also good. My life became a lot less stressful once I learnt to drive. I just drive away my stress, literally. Some people I know say driving is stressful, yet I actually really enjoy it.

Activities, Hobbies, etc is the best way to go in my opinion. Find something to do, it could even be productive, as long as you enjoy doing it.

As to suggestions? Art, writing, sewing, cooking? I have no idea.

The world could always use more heroes!

Posted on 05-02-18 01:06 AM Link | ID: 131723

Handsome Gentleman
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I'd second pretty much everything Epele said.

In addition to that, I'd say you have taken a huge step in the right direction in one way by talking about it as you are here. It's a point that many don't ever get to.

Posted by Thieppy
I'm not at my worst; I can let out some of my repressed feelings more freely to my parents than before. but I can't just unload and abuse thier understanding stance; they are steadily getting fed up with my "revolution" already.

If you have anyone at all to talk to about this that's great, don't feel bad about opening up to them.

It is difficult for many people to open up to those close to them about things like this and it's a very good thing that you have even been able to get to that point at all, so get everything you can out of that.

Now I say this knowing very little of your personal/family life so there very well may be complications I am unaware of, but in general it's a very good thing if you can get any help at all from those close to you, and relying on them as someone to talk to is not something that should be problematic.

That's about all I can say really, best of luck to you.

Giant Paratroopa
Affected by 'Wooster Syndrome' ++++!!
Handsome Gentleman

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